I don’t know if you noticed, but I changed the look of my blog. The other one didn’t really show my nostrils off to suit me. I will eventually change the header to something less “Lisary” but it’s all I could find at the time, and since it has been photoshopped to death and was from a time I weighed about 30 pounds less, I figured it’d do.

Anyway, what I really want to talk about is my relationship with Jesus. Specifically, how He always shows up JUST in the nick of time. Like when I’m down 2 match points. Yes, yesterday I played tennis with my regular partner Sharon and just like normal, we decided not to practice and instead rely on prayer.

Let me set the stage. My team was tied for first place with the team we were playing. By the time Sharon and I took the court, we’d lost 2 and won 1 and our team needed us to win. Which stunk because the duo we were playing were really good. Especially this one girl, let’s call her Pristine. Pristine took the court with all the confidence in the world and I don’t blame her. She was young, fit and had GREAT ground strokes. Also, a serve. But as annoying as I found all of that, it was her serious attitude that drove me crazy. Guurl, we are NOT at Wimbledon, relax! They took the first set 6-4, but it wasn’t as close as it sounds. The wind was blowing like crazy and I stink anyway, so basically I looked like a out-of-shape chick with two left feet playing drunk. It was really ugly. But the whole time I was praying. It went something like this:

Lord, help me like this girl cause she is on my last nerve. Bless her Lord. Help her Lord see that there is a lot more to life than tennis cause she seems to take it REALLY seriously. Didn’t you say pride goes before a fall? Confound the enemy! Help me hit this point. Help me hit THIS point. Help me hit two points in a row!

You get the idea. The 2nd set went back and forth with Pristine basically killing the ball and us doing our best to keep it to her partner and even though they had TWO MATCH POINTS, we managed to win it in a tie-breaker.

Then the 3rd set began and suddenly Sharon and I could not miss! Pristine would hit it hard and I’d hit it harder. Sharon was slamming balls left and right, and I even ACED Pristine on a serve. It was so out of control that Sharon and I were just giggling on the court. The LORD was with us.

Afterward, I tried to give God the glory by telling Pristine that she was a great player and that we’d been praying the whole time and it was a miracle, but she didn’t seem to care. I’m not going to lie, it felt good to take her down a peg or two. When she took the court initially, her head was almost as big as the one on this blog!

The Social Media Marketing World conference is awesome if you want to learn about social media, but it stinks as a diet plan. Case in point – breakfast. When it said “Continental” I assumed it would be some crappy bagel and cereal buffet, but no. How am I supposed to resist Cage-free, scrambled eggs, onion, arugula, bacon and Fontina cheese with mustard on a crispy French baguette? I’m not.

Because I don’t know myself at all, a month ago when I registered for the conference, I asked for  a Gluten-free lunch. Which was a bit confusing to the server and everyone at my table when I ate 3 rolls while waiting for it to be brought out.

As much as I ate for breakfast and lunch, it didn’t even come close to what I had for dinner. John wanted to eat at one of his favorites, Lou and Micky’s. Check out the MENU and imagine me yelling FORTY EIGHT DOLLARS FOR A STEAK??? My company liaison INSISTED on paying, and ordering for everyone, also that I shut up about it. Which is how I ended up eating oysters, a salad, a steak, macaroni and cheese, and grilled asparagus.

My stomach STILL hurts.

After dinner there was a cruise around the bay but since it didn’t get back to shore until 11 pm, also known as 2 am Atlanta time, we skipped it. I came back to the hotel and fell straight into bed.

I am learning SO much and I’m having such a great time, I hate for it to end.

When I get back I’m going to update my Google Plus page, use SlideShare, create some podcasts, upload a few YouTube videos, create more interest in my Pinterest, revamp my Linkedin page, do a few Facebook promotions, create better content, build an online following and create real community online.

Right after I buy a bigger, reinforced, chair to support my butt’s networking habit.

You’ll be glad to know that the poor girl who didn’t save her work, somehow managed to recreate it and sent it off to New York only moments ago. She also had a meeting with a pastor, made a bunch of phone calls, sent out emails and ads, packed most of her clothes, called people asking for money, went to pick up her daughter, dusted the living room, cleaned the toilet, set up a fan in the spare bedroom for her Aunt, and fell into bed exhausted so she could get up in the morning and mop the floors before company gets to town. I think the title of her book should be The Glamorous Life. Or Wealth, Power and Beauty – How to Live Without It.

So I’m off to a social media conference tomorrow but I’m leaving the house in the capable hands of my mother. I fully expect to come home and find a house full of furniture that she bought and didn’t have room in her truck to haul home. There’s already a bench, a ceramic pot and a bunch of framed pictures waiting on her to retrieve them. Plus Fay’s coming. If I don’t find at least one fan and a waffle maker after they’re gone I’m going to be worried they are sick.

Speaking of sick, I have to get on a plane tomorrow and I’m NOT flying first class. I know, it’s ridiculous. My co-worker managed an upgrade, but JD and I are going to be in the back with the peasants having to PURCHASE our meals like something out of David Copperfield. Plus we’re in a window/middle seat for a flight that is almost 5 hours. Do you know how many times I’m going to have to ask the person on the aisle to get up so I can go to the bathroom? A zillion.

Still, I hear San Diego is nice. I mean other than the whole earthquake thing. We’re going to a Social Media Conference so that I can learn how to tell you about my exciting days on every possible platform there is – Twitter, Facebook, Google +, Pinterest, Instagram and a whole host of other sites that I don’t really know anything about. Each night there’s a “Networking” event so we can all meet and use cool marketing  jargon like “inbound marketing” and “content-rich solutions”. I plan on enjoying myself and “networking” nonstop.

And by “networking” I mean “eating” but you probably knew that already.

If I have three things to do in a day, I’ll take ALL DAY to do them. If I have 72 things to do, I’ll find a way to do 73. Which is why I came home today after running around like crazy and decided that the best use of my 30 minutes of down time was to climb up on the roof and remove all of the pine straw. In heeled boots.

I also decided to cook dinner but that didn’t go so well. I forgot that my 5 pound pork loin was actually two 2.5 pork loins and I stuffed it in the oven and didn’t check it once until the timer beeped.

Oops. Moon had tutoring so we opted to eat out instead of prying the pork out of the pan.

I finally got to sit down about 9:00 pm and logged on to Facebook. I got a friend request from my Aunt Faye, and while I did wonder briefly what happened to her other account, I “friended” her. She was very chatty and immediately sent me a private message to say hi. Because I LUV her, I said hello, told her to come see me, mentioned the yard sales we’d go to, blah, blah, blah. That’s when things got weird and she started telling me about some new government grant that our hometown had gotten. Okayyyy.

It was about this time that she ALSO posted on Facebook that she’d been hacked and no one should respond to requests.

Oops. It took me a minute to figure out which one was the REAL Faye and which one was the evil twin, so I could delete the bad one.

If Tania-the-Mad ever gets hacked, I’ll NEVER figure it out.