5 Random Things You May or May Not Care To Know

1. DragonCon is this weekend and Moon and JD spent a great part of the day shopping for her outfit. I read on their website that one of the FAQ is whether or not you can get married there. You can’t but nothing says you can’t MEET your future intended, amiright Kittens?



2. My mother brought two watermelons to my house this weekend, one for me and one for AmmoGuy. AmmoGuy’s EXPLODED during the night and spewed watermelon juice all over their kitchen, down the air vent and into the basement proving that you should not leave your melon out on the counter and that Mom loves me best.

3. I started the morning today by responding to a political Facebook post. Then I had a visit from a nurse who weighed me, took my blood and made me pee in a cup. I’m not sure which was the worst.

4. Yesterday, BabyA came to visit. Out of the blue she said, “I can’t wait to grow up so I can drive.” What kind of car do you want? “An ice-cream truck!” Well, duh.

5. I’m writing and revising and reading a bunch of manuscripts and it’s pretty much going like this:





Nothing says success like taking a vacation to your own lovely living room, amiright? Of course, I’m only taking a vacation from ONE of my jobs. That leaves 2 others and a volunteer gig to keep me occupied in case I was worried about getting bored.

I took the time off so that I could finish book revisions. Yes, it’s STILL not finished. The good news is I believe I have it done. The bad news is IT IS NEVER DONE.  Besides writing and working, I also volunteered to help with a contest where writers submit manuscripts to “mentors”, who choose one, then help them get it ready to submit to agents. I thought about it first, but I wanted to help, so I said yes. It’s been good – there are some fun reads – but I should have read the fine print. Once I choose, then I need to send REJECTION letters to the ones I didn’t pick. How wonderful is that?? This is not going to go well. I have a very tough time rejecting people. If my past history is any indication, I’ll end up dating these books until I can find a way to provoke a fight and have them reject ME.

At the end of the week, two of my favorite people – my cousins Gingerbread and KarenK, are coming for a visit. It will be a lot like when their moms visit me, only with more daiquiris and fewer 5 a.m. wake up calls.

Me, Karen, Ginger, and a spare to post bail.

Me, Karen, Ginger, and a spare to post bail.

Their visit will be the highlight of my staycation. What does THAT tell you about my life?

I kid. The DAIQUIRIS will be the highlight, but you knew that already.



Between Storms

Remember when old people used to just sit around, chew snuff and whittle? Those were the good old days. NOW they show up with a list of addresses, a GPS and a pocket full of dollar bills clamoring for you to hurry before all of the good yard sale items are gone.

And they exist on 4 hours of sleep.

Despite the running around and lack of REM sleep, I had a great time with Mom and Aunt Faye. I got a new table, Mom got a truck full of furniture, and Faye got what can only be her 213th pot. Win! Kit came along to navigate and picked up an apron for her trouble. Also a backache from helping mom load her truck full of furniture, but a small price to pay, right?

No sooner had they left the driveway when JD pulled in with Moon’s buddy for a sleepover. Nothing says “catch up on your sleep” like two 12 years olds who haven’t seen each other in months. While they ran around laying waste, I worked in the office.

If my weekend was exciting enough already, I worked at church in the nursery. With the BABIES. There’s a reason God doesn’t let 40ish year old women get pregnant very often. I’m too old for the life I lead.

Where does one get snuff anyway?

Sad Scallop Story

Do you know Chrissy Teigen? Well, she’s a super hot, Sports Illustrated swimsuit model, so you might not run in the same circles. She’s married to John Legend and has a billion followers on Twitter, so basically my twin. Anyway, as if THAT wasn’t enough to keep her busy, she apparently likes to eat and blogs about food on her website, So Delushious.

One day, I was looking over her site for a possible Moron Test Kitchen, when I saw an amazing post about scallops. AMAZING. So I decided that I could not rest until I tried them. I was craving scallops for days, telling my husband that I could not wait to make them. Finally, I headed over to Publix to grab a few for dinner. I was thinking maybe five or fifteen each ought to do the trick. That’s when I discovered, and you might want to sit down for this, that scallops are TWENTY DOLLARS A POUND.

I almost cried in the grocery store. I called JD and told him to forget about getting out the fancy dishes, we were having CHICKEN.

Sometimes my life is so sad, amiright Kittens?

Because I’ve told that story about a hundred times, on a recent work trip, my boss INSISTED that I order the SCALLOP appetizer and the pasta with SCALLOPS entree. I ate myself into a wonderful, SCALLOP-induced coma. Then I woke up at 3 a.m. and threw up and I haven’t had SCALLOPS since.

Moral of the story: Never try to eat what super hot, swimsuit models eat. You know throwing up is part of their DNA.

Chicago: Behind the Scenes

As you may have seen on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, we went to Chicago this past weekend. It was a LOT of fun and we saw some great sites, ate some good food, and ran into some old friends. But here’s a look at a few things I DIDN’T post.

1. Preparation

I learned very quickly that we needed to add in a 30 minute cushion each morning to prepare Moon’s hair. Oh sure, lots of tweens spend time on the hair, but does YOURS have to duplicate a Leia or Padme style before they’ll leave the house?


You try figuring out how Padme wore her hair on Geonosis before she saw Anakin. Thank goodness for the internet and a plethora of hair products available on every corner of Chicago.

2. The Segway tour was a huge hit – riding them is easy, and we all picked it up quickly. Moon did a great job and rode like a pro. I admit I was a bit worried as we zoomed down the sidewalk while traffic zoomed just a few feet away, but that’s what prayer is for, right? Our guide was nice enough to stop now and then and take our picture.

“Everyone, raise your hands”, he said.


“Yay,” said JD. “Whee,” said Rachel, “Don’t SHOOT!” said the fat lady on the left. Evidently, riding a Segway doesn’t burn many calories. To be fair, I WAS wearing a really blousy shirt. I have no excuse for the pose.

3. I fought Chicago and Chicago won.

It just so happened that all of my sandals bit the dust before our trip, so I went out and bought a pair of Dr. Scholls walking shoes, JUST FOR WALKING.


This happened on my FIRST day before we even got to the FIRST event. Luckily the hotel was right next door to a shoe store.



They weren’t any better.

Hey, running from corner to corner buying enough bobby pins to recreate the hairstyle from when Padme is on the balcony on Nabu takes its toll.


But totally worth it, amiright Kittens?


Nutrisystem (also know as Diet #481)

So in an effort to try EVERY diet under the sun, I recently signed up for Nutrisystem. After one week, I’m ready to give a full report.

I ordered online and went with the Choose Your Own Food option. After 4 – 6 days, my food arrived, and it was a BIG box. I was surprised to learn that none of it was frozen, especially since I’d ordered pizza and lasagna. Anyway, the huge box came, including the Fast 5 box of food and shakes they’d included as an incentive to order. Here’s my thoughts:


1. The food was GOOD. Pretty much everything I tried – the muffins, lasagna, white bean chili – all of it was delicious.

2. The plan was EASY. Seriously, when it’s time for breakfast, I just picked up the bag marked BREAKFAST. It was really nice not to have to think about what I was going to eat.

3. It WORKED. I didn’t lose the fast 5 pounds (more about that below), but I did lose weight – 2.2 pounds.

Okay, now the Cons:

1. It’s PRICEY. The basic plan is $244.00 for a month of food and you have to auto-renew for at least an additional month to get THAT price.

2. The portions are SMALL. This is not really a con since they don’t expect you to just eat the food they send. You are supposed to eat your meals with veggies and smart carbs, etc. but if you were just going to eat the meals alone, you’d be hungry.

3. I didn’t lose that MUCH. I would have like to have lost the full 5 pounds but since I substituted one of their “shakes” with a “beer”, and one of their “lunches” with “Chinese”,  I can’t really blame them.

A friend of mine wanted to try it and so today I ordered 3 of the One Week Sample packs and it ended up being $197.00 dollars. If she ends up joining, we both get $30.00 bucks off our next order!

One more PRO – the customer service as been amazing. My first order didn’t arrive on time, FED-EX couldn’t find us, and when I called on a SATURDAY, the nice rep was able to input directions AND change my second order to be shipped via UPS. Also, when I called to order the 7 Day Sample Pack, the rep put the order in and found a way to save me $30.0o dollars.

We’ll see how I feel in two months, but for now, it’s NutriSystems GO!

(Sorry that there are no pictures but I’m having Iphone issues)

My Day as it Happened

8:30 a.m. Wake up, talk to Tania-the-Mad. Like every other day of my life.

9:00 a.m. Go into office. Commute takes 15 seconds.

11:30 a.m. Go out front door to see if UPS has brought a package. See UPS man in drive way. Rethink not wearing a bra at home.

2:00 p.m. See an email from an irate homeschooler discussing how www.dictionary.com had offensive examples using “homeschool” in a sentence.


2:01 p.m. Jump on bandwagon. Tweet, Facebook information. Email Twitchy to make sure they’ve heard.

6:00 p.m. Hear from a friend that Robin Williams has died. Verify the info. Be bummed.

7:00 p.m. Watch recently purchased dvd, “Drop Dead Gorgeous.” Explain to husband a celebrity on Facebook recommended it.

9:00 p.m. Delete celebrity friend on Facebook.

9:10 p.m. Read that dictionary.com has removed offensive sentences. Feel satisfied at accomplishment.

9:35 p.m. Write a blog post. Put a lot of effort and thought into it.

10:00 p.m. Delete and post this instead.


The Last Supper

My new diet officially started today and  I have high hopes.

I had the traditional, Eat-Your-Last-Great-Meal feast to prepare myself for the month of deprivation. Mantamy and ThinLizzy hosted a reunion of the Paris girls, (did I mention that I went to PARIS last year) and we had a wonderful night of food under the stars.

305_49 Croque Monsieur


We had a delicious Croque Monsieur, which is a fancy French version of the melted ham & cheese, and a yummy dessert called Pavlova, which was obviously invented by the Australian’s and named for the Russian ballerina, Anna Pavlova, who visited there in the 1920’s. Whew, I think I just strained my Googler.

I didn’t bother to get the recipe because I took one look at it and knew I’d never even ATTEMPT to make it. I did take a picture of it, but I can’t get it to send, so just imagine a meringue nest of lemon custard and topped with fresh berries. Just writing it makes me want to inhale another one. We had an AWESOME time eating and laughing and there may have been a glass of Sangria or two.

Of course, the party ended the way all great parties end, with someone bleeding in the kitchen. My glass had a small chip in it, and when our Garcon went to wash it, he cut himself bad enough to need FIVE stitches. I felt really bad for him, until Mantamy said their primary concern was that he’d get an infection from my MOUTH GERMS.

Hmmph. I may not have the hosting skills of Mantamy and ThinLizzy, but no one ever cut themselves on a glass at one my MY parties.



That’s why God invented the “tasse rouge”, am I right Kittens?

The Education of Miss Moon

Today was the first day of school for kids in Cobb County and I am happy to report that we were not a part of it.  Yay for homeschooling! While other kids were running around trying to figure out which locker to use and who to bully, WE were experiencing a little real-world learnin’.

First, JD and I took Moon along for our spa visit. She got to sit in the lobby while JD and I got hour long massages. Lesson: Good Things Come to Those Who Work. 

Afterward, we felt like having something yummy for lunch so we forced Moon to go to a local French restaurant. Moon had  Jambon Beurre Fromage and JD had La Tartine de salade de thon. Mine was the BEST though. I had the  Tourte au pouletor and it was to die for. The two of them kept fighting over who got the next bite of MY food. Lesson: Learn French and Make Better Menu Choices.

Lunch was such a success, we convinced Moon to try another new thing – macaroons. She loved it so much she refused to try ours because she didn’t want to have to share hers! Lesson: When It Comes to Macaroons, Order Double

Homeschooling is going to be a blast!