Did you know that relaxed homeschooling is a thing? It means that you don’t get all worked up about it. This is the way I approach EVERYTHING in life. Good to know it’s widely accepted.

I give Tania-the-Mad a hard time, but I have to admit, she’s done me a solid. She brought a couple of bags of clothes to my mom’s house so I could go through and pick out a few things. Normally my sister’s clothes can be described like this:

Must. Wear. Sunglasses.

Not that I don’t LOVE them, but I don’t always have a place to wear bright yellow leggings and a scarlet cape. This time though, I found the perfect outfit. It’s a brown, two-piece sweatsuit made out of the softest material known to man. I seriously may never change. I’d show you a picture of me wearing it, but since I don’t plan on ever taking it off, I figure we’ve got time.

Truthfully, for most of the day I just wore a robe. I did work, but from my satellite office on the couch. I couldn’t be bothered to dress and make the long walk outside to the actual office. The only reason I put on my new dreamy outfit was because I wanted to go to the movies tonight. But after all of the effort to put on my pants, I was too worn out and sat back down on the couch. I am not kidding.

Luckily, one of my favorite movies was on the television.

I like how the dude finds out that his life of sleeping with models and making millions of dollars is really empty and that living in the suburbs with his wife and messy house is what ACTUALLY makes him happy. For some reason, my husband is not as big a fan as I am.

Other than that, the big news of the day is that I am on a new diet. It’s called the “I’m Going to Get Healthy if it Kills Me” diet. So far, I have done really well and I am also really hungry. But I’m going to be strong – no comfort food for me! I will, however, lay around in my comfort CLOTHES. At least until I lose so much weight they no longer fit. I

‘m probably good for a while.

 

The holidays are almost done and 2014 will soon be just a memory. I’m okay with that. Mainly because I’ve eaten myself into a coma over the past ten days and I am hoping 2015 will bring me some new willpower. Either that or the government needs to ban food.

It started with a week in the North Georgia mountains. We met some friends for a week of card-playing, pork-eating, craft-doing fun. I think it was a huge success in that our kids had a blast, we made some fun vintage ornaments, and we taught our husbands to play bridge. It required a lot of patience, but because we’re smart and thought to bring our liquor, we made it.

As soon as we cleaned up the wrapping paper from Christmas, we jumped in the truck and headed to Tennessee. It. Was. Wild. Seriously, at one point there were 17 adults and 6 kids hanging in the kitchen and talking all at once. We had a huge time playing games and eating everything in sight. It was so bad that we all collectively decided to go on a detox diet IMMEDIATELY. Tania-the-Mad and I ran to the store to get fruit and spinach and everything else we could find. Then we made blackish smoothies that we forced everyone to drink. The good news is that they were good. The bad news is that we drank smoothies AND continued to eat.

We finally got home today and I’m not going to lie, it’s really hard to get motivated to work. As soon as I get going, I’ll just have to quit and start preparing for the New Year’s Eve celebration. We’re having our friends Brat and Kit over for an exciting evening of card playing. I’m not sure what we’ll have for dinner, but Brat’s a big fan of pecan pie.

I’m sure this raw, vegan version will be just as good. C’mon 2015, let’s do this thing!

 

 

 

I had an unexpected surprise this week when an old friend came to spend the night. Kyra and I are a lot  alike, we’re both from the same hometown, we’ve both done triathlons, we’re both girls.

Sure her triathlons are more of the IRONMAN type, (2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, and a 26.2 mile run) but hey, it’s all swimming, biking and running right? Because I’m the best hostess EVER, I let her sit down for approximately 30 seconds before I began asking her what she eats, what exercises she does, how I can lose 20 pounds in 3 weeks, and if she knows any exercises that don’t require movement.

Kyra not only told me what to eat, she MADE me something to eat.

 

It was a mixture of almond butter and something called “organic fruit”. I’m not sure what exactly she did, but it was GOOD.

We stayed up late talking about food and exercise and how I really liked one of those and not the other. Then we drank wine and did a few abdominal exercises. Well, I did one and she did the other, but it’s all pretty much a blur.

Her visit couldn’t have come at a better time. I am thrilled to be inspired regarding my fitness especially so close to Christmas.  Maybe I’ll whip up a low-fat healthy Christmas dinner reminiscent of the one Tania-the-Mad did circa 1991.

On second thought, I’m still not over that one. Let’s give it another year or two.

Hi. How are you? It’s come to my attention that we have this thing going on. I write an update about my life, you read it and leave me a comment. Write, repeat.

Perhaps we should invite some others to this blog? I mean, if it’s just the two of us, we could just talk on the PHONE. Or maybe YOU should start a blog. Then I can comment on yours on Mon, Wed, and Friday while you take the T, TH, Saturday rotation.

I’ve said before that writing several times a week on this blog has gotten difficult, and I know there’s a lot of pressure on you being the sole commenter. What say we just give it up? I’ll start a group of TWO on Facebook. Each day I’ll make a status update and you can “like” it. That would count, right?

Feel free to leave your thoughts. I believe there will be room.

Your good, blogging, favorite daughter.

Z

 

Here are some words I never thought I’d write.  I LOST a rap battle at church. That’s right, like Eminem in the beginning of 8 Mile, I choked during the 2nd round of a rap battle and went DOWN. I’m not sure how I’ll recover, but like the Rap God himself, I’ll try and lose myself in the music next time.

Oh yeah, there will BE a next time. So if you see me over the next few weeks and I tell you that “Your days are numbered, I’m unencumbered, my rhymes are tight, so prepare for a fight”, don’t be alarmed I’m just practicing.

To prepare for the rap battle, I had to listen to a bunch of rap music which is not exactly the best thing to get you in the Christmas mood. Of course, neither is spending a ton of money and shopping constantly. I’m almost done, THANKFULLY, but I’ve still got to wrap everything and pack.

I don’t remember my mom running around like crazy. We got the Sears catalogue, circled 10 or 12 toys, then ran to the tree to get one or two that she had ordered. We also got a lot of fruit and nuts in our stockings. My mother obviously didn’t feel the pressure to over do it.

Moon is pretty easy, she just wants Star Wars stuff. Interestingly enough, that’s ALSO what JD wants. Me, I just want to relax and enjoy the holiday and remember the reason for the season.

It’s about a boy and a manger, Now death’s a stranger, and I’m a lyrical arranger.

You get the idea.

 

Working from home has it’s high points and when I actually get to stay at home – it’s awesome. This morning started off with impromptu dancing in the kitchen because Baby A had never heard Ice-Ice Baby. I mean, REALLY. Some people aren’t meant to be parents, amiright?

After A went to school, I met Kat at the gym because that’s how I roll. Literally, I ROLL. Kat and I are going to be the change we’re looking for and rock 2015 so we’re walking/running on the treadmill and really testing the gym’s “no judgement” policy. We’ve done two whole days this week and I am this close to breaking my personal record of attendance. The people at the front counter almost recognize me!

Because I have lots of work to do, Moon was nice enough to clean the house. I learned a valuable lesson a few months ago. Instead of saying, “I’ll give you $ to clean the house” I now say “Clean the house and I’ll pay you based on how it looks.” MUCH better results. And that is all I know about parenting.

It would have been a red-letter day except that my mother called with the news that Granny fell and broke a hip. The Worst. She ended up having surgery and seems to be doing fine, but she’s 101 years old, so fine is relative. Say a prayer for her, THEN while you’re at it – say one for RimFire who is having back surgery on Wednesday.

The good news is that if I can score a couple of walkers from work, I’m going to be a big hit this Christmas!

 

My weekend got a lot more fun when my brother called and asked if he could move in for a few days. Obviously I said NO, but then he said he was bringing Baby A which changed everything. I thought, like I’m sure most of you, that his wife had wised up and thrown him out. But no, they were just asked to vacate the premises because they are sick.

RimFire is having surgery this week and she CAN NOT get sick beforehand. Since none of us are having surgery, we can. So AmmoGuy with his cough, cough, cough and his sweet angel with a runny nose are now firmly planted in our guest bedroom. We tried to convince them to stay hidden away but they wanted out to “eat” and “potty”. Baby A is easy to please, but AmmoGuy has issues. Primarily he wants to sit on the couch and watch Miami Vice. The ORIGINAL one. Because he brought a Honey Baked Ham and I’m sweet I decided he could stay, but mainly that first one.

In other news, we continued our family Christmas tradition of getting together and yelling, also known as The Tyre Christmas Card. It’s getting a little harder to come up with cute Christmas ideas since our elf is now 6 feet tall. But she is a little easier to direct. Her father is still the same old pain.

Sunday we went to church like USUAL. AmmoGuy did not. Something about having to blah, blah, blah. It’s always the ones who need Jesus the most who can’t seem to make it. God will understand. It was probably something very important.

I’m sure a Crockett and Tubbs marathon counts as “important”.

 

 

 

 

I could tell you about all of the reasons I’ve been too busy to write a new blog post, but I’ll just give you one –

Baby A spent the night! We had a lovely time playing Wii Dance, and she said it was the “Best Sleepover EVER”. Of course, she said it at 5 a.m. so I might have heard her wrong.

Later that morning, we drove to school.

Then we took a trip to the mall and visited Build-a-Bear for the first time.

The mall was a bit tiring, so we had to lay down and do mall angels.

AmmoGuy said he’d burn those clothes later.

That sounds like a plan. Hey, I’m in charge of fun, not laundry.