Me: I looked at the plane’s seat assignment. I’m on the aisle.

JD: That’s good, but the window is better if you crash.


JD: If you crash out, the window is better.

Me: Why do you think I’m going to CRASH?

JD: Oh. Perhaps I should have said “sleep” instead.

Me: Ya think?

Ignorance is bliss

Have you heard I’m going on a trip? Yeah, in just a few days I’ll be  panicking riding on a jet plane bound for India. I’ll be the guest of a friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, in a city that I’m not allowed to mention. Since I’ve never BEEN to India, I enjoy reading her updates on FaceBook. Here are a few things I’ve gleaned from her posts over the past few weeks.

  • It was 105 degrees.
  • The electricity went out.
  • Thus no water was available.
  • But there were plenty of mosquitoes.
  • And at least one cobra.
  • And several growling rats.

I can see why she wants to keep the location quiet. Visitors must be a constant problem.

Holy Monday

My upcoming trip must be having an effect on me. Two holy days in a row – what will the Lord do next?

I spent the weekend playing tennis with my good friend and tennis partner, Sharon. We’ve been partners for over SIXTEEN years. In ALTA, that’s unheard of. But we decided years ago that we’d rather lose together, than win with other people. Sharon is a great Christian, a great mom, and a great friend. For sixteen years, just before we begin to play, she’s put her arm around my shoulders and prayed for us. Without fail, she thanks God for ME. Me, the girl that used to show up hung over with some goofy boy on my arm.

I asked her recently how she put up with me, back then, before I turned into the awesome, Christian role model that I am today. She said, “I loved you.” My friend LOVED me, as I was. While she never preached to me, she did show me a better way to live. I’m blessed to know her. And now, on the rare occasion that she is unavailable and I have to play with someone else, I always take a moment, put my arm around their shoulders, and pray.

Sharon turned the tennis court into a ministry. Where is yours? It’s wherever you ARE.

Be encouraged.

Holy Sunday

We went to dinner this weekend with a lovely family. We met the Cerny’s at least 10 years ago; their kids couldn’t have been more than 6 and 8. Now their oldest, Sara, is 18 and about to graduate and head off to college. It doesn’t seem possible!

Sara and her youth group just got back from a trip to Romania. She worked with kids in an orphanage, visited children at the hospital, and helped kids in a Gypsy village. The students gave their testimonies, handed out blankets and conducted a VBS for the kids.

Sara said it was FREEZING, and here she is holding a precious child  that’s wearing one, thin, ripped shirt. How sad is that? How blessed are we?

Sara has a heart for God and it blesses everyone she knows. From the special-needs children that she works with at school, to my daughter who Sara treats like a princess. I am so proud of her! And it encourages me to know that you can raise good, God-loving children in this crazy world.

Be encouraged.

Sleep Deprived

I’m falling asleep at my computer. Because it’s a Friday night, and I’m a cool, happening 30-something, you might think it’s because I’ve had one glass of wine too many. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. No, I’m tired because my DOGS woke me up at 6 a.m. with an awesome game called, “Jump on the bed, Jump off the bed, Jump on the bed, Jump off the bed, Sorry, did I wake you? How about breakfast?”

It’s not as much fun as it sounds. Usually I lay there (hoping they won’t accidentally jump on me and rupture a kidney), pretending to sleep until JD gets up to feed them. But for some reason this morning I decided to let him sleep in.  I’m a giver, I know.

But even as tired as I am, I couldn’t go to bed without sharing this important news –

MMMMvelopes are bacon envelopes. No, they’re not made of bacon, but they look like a perfectly marbled piece of pork flesh. But that’s not the best part! The best part is that when you lick these envelopes to seal your writings inside, the adhesive TASTES LIKE SCRUMTRULESCENT BACON.

Is this a great country or WHAT?

You’re welcome.

India – an alternative?

As the trip with my cool, church friends to India approaches, I’m spending a lot of time wondering WHY I’m going. What is God trying to accomplish? Then I saw THIS:

Patients from all over the world flock to India not only for its rich culture and historical landmarks, but also for the quality of its cosmetic treatments. India is big on cosmetic surgery. In fact, plastic surgery originated in 3500 BC in ancient India and visitors can expect surgical procedures here to be of the highest standards.

Hmm. That’s interesting and all, but what does that have to do with me? Then I read THIS:

The average time off work seems to be about two weeks after a facelift.

Two weeks? Hey, that’s how long I’m going to be IN India. Surely it’s just a coincidence. But then I saw THIS:

Wow, hit me over the head with it, why don’t you?  But the trip is not just about ME. Imagine how the other four people going could use the opportunity to grow their spirit of care and compassion as they nursed me back to health.

It’s a win-win for everyone.

SpongeBritt Soaky Pants

Our friend Katherine invited us to join her at the Georgia Aquarium today. It was her husband’s birthday and she had purchased him a great gift – a dive in the big tank!

Britt swam with whale sharks, stingrays, tiger sharks, other kinds of sharks, big fish, smelt, catfish and Nemo. I might have zoned out a bit during the information portion of the tour. But, the most exciting thing he had the privilege of swimming with was MANTAMY!

Our friend Amy and her husband Greg volunteer at the aquarium. This is her trying to kiss me. Or the MoonPie. Or maybe her husband who was standing next to us. I couldn’t really tell since the glass is about three feet thick. She was giving us all kinds of hand signals which I interpreted to mean, “Groupers are smelly”, “The soda’s are cheaper in the break room,” and “If I don’t get out in time, vote for Big Mike”. I might have zoned out during my class on hand signals.

While Britt and Amy swam, Greg gave us a guided, BEHIND-the-scenes tour.

Katherine and the MoonPie trying to catch jellyfish.

Me and MP touching anomenies. Anomony’s. Anomenomies. Sea Urchin.

The touching pools are fun, but confusing. I spent two minutes carefully touching a gurgling sponge-like animal until the volunteer explained that was the filtration system!

Hello? Couldn’t you label these things? I’m not a marine biologist you know!

Greg was a great Tour Guide. He not only showed us the TOP of the big tank, the wave machine at the TOP of Tropical Diver, and the TOP of the beluga tank, but he also escorted us to the restrooms. Three times.

I am REALLY glad he’s going with me to India.


Bedtime for the MoonPie

MP: Goodnight.

Me: Why are you sleeping in your glasses? Are you trying to see your dreams better?



MP: I’m getting up. I HAVE to tell Daddy.

A few minutes later.

MP: Hmmph. He didn’t laugh at all.

Me: Some people have no sense of humor.

Health Care Debate

I was fine, paying my bills, sending the insurance check out every month, doing without OTHER things so that we could provide health care for the family. But now that we’re getting Universal Healthcare, I can hardly wait for my premiums to go down 3000%. It couldn’t have come at a better time.

In a totally unrelated note, look what Grandpa bought the Moonpie.

Now that healthcare is settled, who’s up for Universal Gasoline?