Stimulating Day

This morning started in a mad rush as JD came running into the bedroom yelling, “It’s 7:30! We’ve got to GO, GO, GO!” I dressed the MoonPie while she was still asleep in two minutes flat, sent her to the bathroom to brush her teeth, handed her a bag of muffins and pushed her out the door. School starts promptly at 7:50. Normally we’d just take our tardy slip and call it a day, but the school was doing CogAT testing and anyone arriving after 7:50 would be LOCKED OUT of the room. Nothing like beginning your day in a mad panic. Who needs coffee?

Later, I went to meet my prayer ladies at church, ran an errand, and headed back home to work. Except that I sat in traffic at THREE different intersections watching road crews spend our stimulus dollars. Until the STIMULUS, I had no idea that EVERY single road upon which I traveled needed extensive work done.

What do I know? Exect that you shouldn’t drink a large diet Coke before driving anywhere in Cobb County.

You’re welcome.

Real Hoarding Housewives of Atlanta

As regular readers of this blog may know, (Hi, Mom! How are ya?) I go through stages. Anyone remember P90X? Couponing? Eating only NON-processed food? Back to couponing? The point is, change is part of my DNA. This week up, next week down, this week in, this week – OUT.

I’m purging, and not in a good, “maybe-I-will-finally-lose-15-pounds way.” This is  more of a “please-don’t-call-that-show-Hoarders” type of purge. Today while JD and the MoonPie were at horseback riding, I decided to go through my clothing and get rid of anything too small, old, stained, out of date, low cut, or just plain ugly.

My closet is now empty. We may make it into a wine closet.

There’s still more to go through. A LOT more. Plus the basement. It was easy for the most part. I DID hang on to some strange things. Like an old shirt that a 100 year old lady gave me before she died. It was hers and I’ve never worn it, but it feels wrong to just throw it out, even though it’s been over EIGHT years and it kinds smells like the nursing home… Okay, out it goes.

I am also getting rid of shoes. For instance, my Doc Martins that JD hates for some reason probably having to do with the fact I’m not 19 and listening to the Violent Femmes. Or whoever young whippersnappers listen to these days. And these –

Which would totally ROCK at the bridge club. Oh well, some smart shopper at Goodwill will snap these up. These bags are just FULL of treasure like this.

I’m planning on taking them this week, but if you’re in need of anything let me know. There’s a cute purse of man-made material with your name on it!

Pests *update*

No, it’s not another post about my family. BAHAHAHAHA.

When I was growing up, we lived next door to some interesting people. A rather large lady named Kathleen was one of them. She died several years ago, so I don’t think she’d mind being mentioned on this blog. Kathleen lived in a tar-paper shack. Do you know what that is?

Kathleen’s was not this nice. It was her father’s house, but after he died, she lived there with her husband and her mentally challenged brother. Truthfully, they might have all been a bit challenged. They didn’t have indoor toilets and I remember hearing a story about how her husband was cleaning hot peppers, got some on his hands, then when outside to use the bathroom. I don’t know if Kathleen told us or if we just heard the screaming.

Anyway, I was only inside the house a couple of times. Surprisingly enough, I found it kinda creepy. I know that’s shocking – the child who thought her father was trying to kill her, finding a old shack inhabited by mentally challenged people scary, but I did. I remember very little about the house except that it was the first time I ever saw fly strips.

Do you know what that is?

Ewww. And they had several of these animal-torturing devices hanging around their house. Why was I even there? Were you that hard up for baby-sitters, Mother??

It totally grossed me out at the time. But since then I’ve matured, and realized that people have pests, and I shouldn’t be so judgemental.

Did I mention that I have gnats? Not that I would ever hang tacky, fly strips.

Not when Walmart sells these beautiful, DECORATIVE fly strips. At first the gnats weren’t attracted to it, but then I poured some apple-cider vinegar in the bottom and they came swarming. So now my kitchen not only looks good, but it SMELLS good.

Whatever. At least there are no mentally challenged people here. Feel free NOT to comment.

*JD finally had the “Do you have to TELL everything?” talk with me. To which I responded, “Oh, but there’s so much more! Muh-ha-ha.”

And besides, the gnats are dead. Isn’t that worth sharing? The Internet needs to know!

Blog Peanut Gallery

My mother complains that this blog no longer has enough photos. My brother complains that it doesn’t have enough words. I complain that I don’t have enough time to ensure it has EITHER on a regular basis.

Today for instance, I jumped out of bed, no time to SHOWER, and headed to church. After I’d finished molding the minds of 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade girls, I raced to Zaxby’s where I choked down a salad, then hurried over to Old Navy to buy my daughter tennis shoes. Whew, doesn’t that sound exhausting?

Exactly. Which is why I then came home and climbed into bed and read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo for 4 hours. It was raining, after all, and everyone I know has already read the book so it wouldn’t do if I didn’t finish it.

After I forced myself out of bed, I moved to the couch where I began to do our taxes. Our 2009 taxes. I think they’re due in a few days, so it was important that I get started. Not as important as finishing my book, but important.

And then I did some work, which I’m pretty sure is against one of the ten commandments, but Monday was looming and all of the emails in my In-Box were freaking me out.

By the time I get around to working on the blog, I’m too tired to write a lot, or find previously, unpublished photographs. There are just not enough hours in the day.

It’s not looking good for tomorrow either. The The Girl who Played with Fire is on sale at Walmart.

My Dad is Awesome

I went to the lake approximately 72,986 times between the ages of 6 and 18. Our boat wouldn’t start, stranded us in the middle of the lake, once contained snakes, and even ran OVER my dad. This is how he handled it –

Today, when my brother mentioned he’d like to take the boat to the lake to watch Rimfire ski, I was all for it! I’d spent the weekend with JD McGrumpyPuss but my brother – that would be awesome. JD didn’t grow up on the lake like us, he hadn’t learned from my DAD how to handle adversity.

I don’t know where it all went wrong.

AmmoGuy:  This is so aggravating.  I’m so glad I sold my boat. Why are there so many people? Where should we ski? Where do we pay? Why is the boat stuck in reverse?


I called my dad for help.

Me: Dad, we’re in the boat and it’s stuck in reverse and there’s a bunch of people, and the kids are upset cause they can’t ski.

Dad: Stop, you’re making me homesick.

Seriously, he’s AWESOME.

A Picture is Worth a 1000 Revelations

What I think when I see this picture –

I have nice friends.

I have gorgeous friends.

I should have worn black.

I should have worn long sleeves.

I should lift a weight every now and then.

I should have worn a better bra.

I should have started dieting 6 months ago.

I should have offered to TAKE the picture.

8 down, 992 to go.

Camping – the good, the bad and the ugly

The Good –

Teaching kids to play spades and speed across the picnic table

Watching MP and her friends chase frogs, swim in the lake, play in the dirt, ride the inner- tube and basically forget all about television for four days

Smores, smores, smores

Seeing RimFire ski for the first time and hearing her squeal with happiness

Hanging with good friends

Doing no work, just reading great books

A kid that wakes up, looks around the tent and says, “I love my mom and dad.”

The Bad –

Having your mattress spring a leak causing you to lay on pea gravel all night.

Finding out that cute bridge across the lake is actually a train trestle where a conductor blows his whistle every morning at 2 a.m.

Running out of gas when only TWO of the three children have had their turn in the inner-tube

The Ugly –

Standing up in a boat while it’s running, then falling and hitting your tailbone on a fiberglass corner resulting in your laying down in the boat and gasping for air like a beached ORCA.

Going into a extremely bright bathroom to check out your injury and realizing your bottom has swollen to twice it’s size because surely to all that is HOLY your butt is not that big since you’ve been parading around in a bathing suit in front of all of your family and friends for four days.

Camping is Fun. It totally is!

I don’t care what my mother says. Or my sister. Or all of the other people in my life. I went camping from the time I was six until I left for college and there was not one moment of it I didn’t LOVE. Okay, I didn’t love that one night my mother had to come find me because I might or might not have been under the influence of fermented wheat. (Sidebar: Thanks, Ginger – way to go back to the camper WITHOUT me and wake up all of the parents.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, this is going to be great. We have a tent!

JD and the MoonPie have got this under control. Even though we’re a family of three, we decided on the 10 person tent, just in case people wanted to join us. I expect a crowd.

I wanted to get the Coleman Instant-Tent that goes up in 60 seconds. (It’s TRUE, I saw it on YouTube.) But JD wanted to go “old school”.  They had been working on it about 30 minutes when I decided to leave for my bridge ministry. Someone has to play cards with retirees!

Awesome – MP has plenty of room. The center portion is our “stationing” area. That’s where all of our stuff will sit, nicely folded, labeled clearly – ready to use at a moment’s notice.

Awwww, doesn’t that look comfortable? One side room will be for us, and the other for our guests. And the dogs. By the way, this tent comes with a PET DOOR! How awesome is that? It’s like camping at the Ritz.

It’s the Taj Mahal of camping gear! This camping thing is going to be wonderful.

So I’ve been thinking lately about a Dudley Moore movie I saw in the mid-eighties. It was called Unfaithfully Yours, and I remember thinking it was HIGHlarious. Dudley Moore is married to a much younger woman, and through miscommunication, begins to believe she is cheating on him. You know, it doesn’t sound as funny when I put it that way. Anyway, he plots his revenge, which I am pretty sure culminated in killing them. HAHAHAHA. The FUNNY part is that you see the plan in his mind. It goes so smoothly when he’s imagining it, but then as it actually unfolds, it’s a total farce.

I haven’t thought about that movie in years. I’ve got no idea where that came from. Weird.

Tyre Photo v.2.0

We bought the MoonPie a camera since she’s decided she wants to be a photographer when she grows up and her dad won’t share his.

She likes it a lot. Especially the “stitch” function.

You take three images, then click the “stitch” button, creating a panoramic..

ensuring you get three times the usual number of photos of your BFF.

All photos copyright of MP, 2010.

Great, TWO photographers in the family. I’m going to need a 2nd job.

She Rides Again!

The MoonPie had a horse show this weekend and did REALLY well, even though she was riding with some older kids, AND on a challenging horse. In fact, at practice on Wednesday, her horse kept refusing to jump. Refusing is NOT a good thing. MP had to RIDE the horse, not just sit on it and let it do it’s thing, or the show would not go well.

She LOOKED good. MP has a great attitude about the shows – it’s not about winning, it’s about having fun. Doesn’t she look like she’s having fun? There were six riders, and things got a little crowded. MP had some trouble finding her rhythm during the equitation portion of the show. Fifth place out of six. Still, it could have been worse.

When she began the JUMPING part, I admit I was nervous.

But she ROCKED it. No refusals, a great gait, everything looked good. As they began to call the winners, 6th place, 5th place, 4th place… I got excited. 3rd place, 2nd place…when MP heard the name and figured out it wasn’t hers, meaning she won FIRST PLACE, she got the biggest grin on her face. It was awesome!

Confetti did okay too, I guess.

Afterwards, we took MP and a new friend out to lunch to celebrate.

And I told MP I was proud of her 277 times. I get the impression she knows it.