Uh oh.

The MoonPie has been waiting for MONTHS for the movie, The Last Airbender, to arrive. Tomorrow is the big day and I’ve promised to take her. In truth, I’ve been excited to take her since I’m a fan of the cartoon and I missed Toy Story 3. Then I read this:

“The Last Airbender” is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here.

Ebert gave it HALF a star. I’m going to spend $47.50 on tickets and popcorn for a HALF star movie. A half star movie with no handsome love interests in my age range. I really think I should reconsider. What would it teach my daughter if we just went willy-nilly, wasting money on poorly reviewed movies? It’s wrong on so many levels. What I SHOULD do is take her to a good movie, a movie that received TWO out of four stars. A movie so good it’s breaking all records!

Awesome. We’re all in agreement.

Twilight:Eclipse it is. She’ll be over the nightmares in a week. Two at most.

World Traveler

The following is based on a true story.

“Hey girls, we’re on our way! Thank goodness AmmoGuy gave us his GPS. We’ll have no trouble. Who needs to stop for a drink?”

“Aii! What happened to the GPS? Where’d it go? Where is it?  Someone stole AmmoGuy’s GPS!!!

“What? Oh. Never mind.”

Biltmore House

Or as we say in 2010 – BiltMO House. Actually, no one says that.

Those tiny people are us. Trust me, you don’t want to see us any closer. I could totally live at the Biltmore. Well, me and 237 servants. WHY don’t I have 237 servants?? Life is so not fair.

The veranda over looking George Vanderbilt’s acreage. I don’t have any acreage!  I don’t know any Vanderbilts! I did, however, eat at the Commodore Restaurant across from Vanderbilt University once. Similar.

The crew taking a break. This was right between the $2.75 sodas and the $4.95 ice cream cones.

RimFire at the Biltmore farm. Hey, somebody had to work off our tickets! 800,000 acres don’t plow themselves.

This poor blacksmith was working hard in the heat. And by “poor” I mean he told us there’s a SEVEN YEAR wait to get things created by him. Is it too late to learn to be a blacksmith? Do blacksmith shops come with A/C?

After leaving the Biltmore, we decided to take the girls mining for gems. I don’t remember how George Vanderbilt made his money, but it was worth a shot.

Keep searching, MoonPie, I’m sure they’re in there somewhere!

Oh well, the Vanderbilt’s we’re not. We managed to have a good time anyway. Who needs 237 servants and 800,000 acres of prime real-estate in Asheville when you can hang with Tania the Mad at McDonalds?

Exactly. I wonder if they’d consider adoption.

Scenes from the Weekend – Part 1

Our first stop – lunch. It had been almost 4 hours since breakfast with only Skittles, Reese’s, and Little Debbie cakes to get us through.

Downtown Asheville. Also known as “Don’t look over there, I don’t know WHY he’s dressed like that, and Don’t ever get a tattoo.”

Looking GOOD, Rimfire!

Dance, MoonPie, Dance!

Tania the Mad in a rare moment of congeniality.

What happens when two silly girls see a “flower bed” with only their grandmother and Mad Aunt to supervise. “Get out of that poor woman’s flowers!”

“Wow, those large glass balls hanging from the tree are GORGEOUS. How much are they? $175.00 dollars! Go back to the flower bed!”

Tomorrow – the Biltmore House. What could go wrong?

Family Fun

I’m driving the MoonPie and RimFire to North Carolina where we’re meeting all the other crazy women in my family. Even Alaska Ashleigh will be there!

We’ll  be touring the Biltmore. We’ll be touring the Biltmore with my grandmother who’s 95 96, my mother who’s nursing an aching neck, my sister who’s mad, my niece who’s left her boyfriend behind and will probably be texting constantly about how boring we all are, my other niece who’s accident prone, my daughter who’s whiney-prone, and me – the only normal, well-adjusted one of the whole lot.

And there are those who think going to India was hard.

This is a test.

I rejoined the gym this week because one of the locations has a great outdoor pool and I knew MoonPie and RimFire would enjoy going. It’s NOT because I’ve lost all muscle mass and can feel my behind on the back of my thighs. I did it for the CHILDREN. Before they could enjoy it, they had to take a swim test.

You guys feeling good? Yeah, that’s the spirit!

Yes, all the way to the end, no stopping, no floating, no dog-paddling. When you reach the end, you need to tread water for one minute. Piece of cake.

Can you push off from the wall? Sure, anything you think will help.

Excellent! Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

Looking GOOD girls! See, treading water is easy.

No, you’ve got another thirty seconds to go.

Congratulations! You’re a winner.

You can’t feel your what? Whatever, you PASSED!

Whew, I’m exhausted. Cheering is hard.

Easter in June

While I was in INDIA, I left my husband very clear instructions on how to use my blog. I also left him clear instructions on taking care of the MoonPie but that didn’t stop him from sending her to school dressed inappropriately, without her lunch box or homework.

The point is he was supposed to post an Easter picture and I have nothing else to blog about it’s important so –

RimFire, BFF and MoonPie in her Paris-themed dress and beret.

Stay tuned, I might even have some left over images from Christmas to post next.

Holy Sunday

Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7: 9-11

Having a daughter has helped me understand how much God loves me. I know that His love for me is even more vast than mine for the MoonPie, but it’s hard to imagine. My love for her is VAST. If I lived in that truth daily, how would it affect my life? How would it affect the people closest to me? My goal for the week – living as a dearly beloved daughter of the King.

Here’s how I showed love to MY daughter this past week. First, the armoire –

First, it was cleaned and lightly sanded, (or sanded and lightly cleaned, whichever)

Then I painted the corners a light pink,

Then applied pink around the edges of the drawers,

THEN put wax on the edges,

finally, I spray-painted the whole think black, and rubbed down the edges to remove the wax and allow the pink to show through. I’m sure people who do this on a regular basis have a much simpler method. After I was done with the painting, JD and I found fabric and glass knobs.

It actually looks REALLY good in person. The pink shows through nicely, and the fabric is perfect for the room. And now – the finished product.

You have to see it to appreciate it. My photos don’t do it justice. Too bad I don’t know an architectural photographer. Oh well. The MoonPie was at a birthday party all day so she was totally surprised. When we got home, we asked her to take something to her bedroom.

“Seriously? This is my room? Seriously?”

Worth every dime, worth every minute spent painting in the hot sun. Trust me, His love is VAST.