Moron Test Kitchen – Halloween Edition

Two for ONE!

The MoonPie got invited to a Fall Festival (and by Fall Festival I mean HALLOWEEN) event at the barn where she rides. Everyone was asked to bring something and I chose fruit, but then I noticed they were holding a Scary Dessert contest. Perfect! I’d been waiting on just the right occasion to make my Bloody Glass Cupcakes!

First, the glass. I don’t have pictures of this step because it’s simple and boring, so use your imagination. Combine 3 cups of sugar, 1 cup of water and 1 cup of Kyro syrup. Put it in a pan and heat to 300 degrees – also known as “Hard Crack” stage. Yeah, that’s TOTALLY what I thought hard crack meant. Anyway, dig out your candy thermometer, then realize your candy thermometer is DEAD, so dig out your meat thermometer which only goes to 225, but wing it because you can always cook it a little while longer. I’m sure that will work. And when you pour it into a buttered 9×12 pan and wait 24 hours and it STILL hasn’t hardened, throw it away and send your husband out for a new candy thermometer. Or just skip those steps in the middle, whatever works for you.

Where was I? Boil to 300 degrees, then DO NOT STIR AGAIN. Instead, take it off the heat and pour it into a buttered 9×12 pan. Let it sit and it will harden. We gave ours about 3 hours. Then we hit it repeatedly and it looked like this.

Awesome! Now make the cupcakes. I used Pillsbury and followed the directions. No big deal – just plain cupcakes with WHITE icing. I enlisted some help.

While the girls were putting the icing on the cupcakes and inserting the glass, I made the blood.

I took 1 can of cherry pie filling and pureed it. Then I put the cherries, 1/2 cup of water, 1/4 cup of fine sugar, a 1/2 tsp of lime juice, and a tablespoon of cornstarch in a pan and brought it to a boil. Then I let it cook until it was thick. Yum.

Last step was to put the blood onto the pieces of glass. Doesn’t that look scary? I was a certain winner! Moron Test Grade – hmmm. We’ll get to that.

Because I ALSO had to bring fruit – I gave JD a job.

First he cut off the bottom of a watermelon so it would sit flat, then he began to “shave” off the top portion.

He cut a deep line in the middle, then began to cut swirly lines around the sides.

Left hemisphere, right hemisphere, the temporal lobe. Delicious!

Then he carved a face into the rest of the watermelon so it looked like you were actually eating his brain while he sat there staring at you!

Moron Test Grade – Okay, it was the hit of the party. My totally awesome Bloody Glass Cupcakes got NOTHING. Not even an honorable mention. No one ate any! JD won the grand prize and, can we all agree that watermelon is not a DESSERT?

Oh well, we all had fun. Who cares if I spent 2 days cooking glass and that I have dried cherry/blood all over my counter tops? When I got home I got to deal with this –

I’m pretty sure I could win a Scariest Kitchen contest, so that’s something.

3 thoughts on “Moron Test Kitchen – Halloween Edition

  1. All your desserts looked great. I’m sure the watermelon brain was your idea anyway and J.D. just took the credit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *