Well, Happy Dang Birthday.

I got my THIRD REJECTION today.

Dear Lisa,

Thank you for your query. Dan Lazar asked me to reply after he evaluated your submission.

We’re afraid your project does not seem right for our list, but thank you for thinking of Dan, and best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,
Stephen Barr
Assistant to Dan Lazar

Yeah, the ASSISTANT. So to recap my journey with literary agents:

Agent 1 says she likes my chapter and I should sent out queries.

Agent 2 says she was considering it for a time, but opted to pass.

Agent 3 says she has to feel strongly about a project, and she so does NOT.

Agent 4 has ASSISTANT give me the kiss off.

I fully expect Agent 5 to show up with a tire iron and take out my kneecaps.

Here I sit on my BIRTHDAY, old and rejected. I can’t think of a THING that would make me feel better. Except for presents. Lots and lots of presents.

I’ll be home all day.