They call it Moron Test Kitchen for a Reason

My sweet, friend Patty is a good cook, so when she starts talking about “easy” recipes, I should know better than to believe her. Good cooks think EVERYTHING is easy.

This is what she said. “Melt a large Hershey’s bar, you know, the big ones? Melt it, let it cool a little bit, mix it with a container of Cool Whip, put it in a chocolate pie crust, FREEZE it, then take it out of the freezer, let it get a little soft and eat it. Oh, and you can put some more whipped topping on top if you want.” See what I mean? IMPOSSIBLE.

First of all, I couldn’t find the big Hershey’s bars. I had no idea how big it actually was, so I bought a 6-pack of the smaller ones figuring it had to be close. Unfortunately, I got the bars with almonds. Sigh.

Patty didn’t mention if I was supposed to use a small container of Cool Whip or a LARGE container, so I bought two small ones. And I went cheap and light, getting the 99 cent, low-fat version.

Then I melted five chocolate bars JUST LIKE Patty had said. But JD came through at about then and asked why I wasn’t using a double broiler like everyone knows is the PROPER way to melt chocolate. It’s like Patty WANTED me to fail, amiright?

Let’s face it, Kittens, this isn’t looking that great. This is the step you can skip. I call it – “Mashing the Chocolate to Remove The Almonds” step.

Now you mix the chocolate with the Cool Whip. I used one small container. Which means you should probably use two.

See? My pie crust is not full. Who doesn’t love a big mouth full of crust when you’re eating a pie? Maybe it will fluff up in the freezer!

Oh look, it did! As far as you can tell.

Moron Test Score – B. Everyone loved it, and it was light and tasty. Even with the almond removal problem, it was easy to make. But that light, off-brand whipped topping took us down a letter grade.

I blame Patty. Kittens, if she had wanted me to succeed, she would have given me clearer instructions. Something along the lines of, “stay out of the kitchen,” might have worked nicely.