The Final Two *Updated with spoiler

Finally, Kittens, we’ve reached the end. Only one more night of performing and then a new Idol will be crowned. I can hardly stand myself! Oh, NO! Lauren blew a vocal cord??? That sounds like something she might need for a singing competition. Oh well, I’m sure she’ll be fine. She has TWO of them for crying out loud.

Okay, here comes Corny McEyebrow singing his favorite song of the competition, “Gone.” Please take a moment and watch the band Montgomery Gentry do this song.

Need I say more? Maybe people who don’t know the original will like this. Maybe people are crazy. I think it’s karaoke. C.

Lauren, Lauren, Lauren. Why didn’t you sing the song from last week? The one JIMMY chose for you? Well, she sounds fine, looks confident and best of all – no creepy eyebrow lifts. She wins this one by default. B-

Wait, what? There’s no judges comments? Yes, sweet Lord, you’ve heard my prayers! A+

Check Yes or No is George Strait’s pick for Scotty. Zzzzzzz. Really? This guy is probably going to win American Idol? I mean, he seems like a good kid, has a nice family and all, but I his vocals are WEAK. C.

What did Carrie pick for Lauren? Oh, please be good. Maybe it was Memphis? I think she sounds great. I think we may have an upset on our hands. I think I should rock the tutu again. Yes, I said AGAIN. B.

Ugg, the judges finally get to speak. Randy says this is America’s fault, we’ve chosen these two. Randy likes both and gives them each a round. Jennifer agrees with Randy, although it took her FOREVER to say it, and Stephen gives them both to Lauren ’cause she’s prettier. I like it. It gives people on the fence a reason to just say, “what the heck” and pull the lever for the best looking. Hey, maybe I should run for office!

The last song is being introduced by Jimmy! This is an original song, and if Scotty wins, will be his first single. I Love You this Big is actually a decent song! Especially compared to the crap they usually put out for the final. I think he still sounds weak on the big notes, but his best performance of the night. Randy says In It To Win It for the millionth time this season, JLo says he’s a great story-teller and that it was amazing, and Stephen says he nailed it again. I had such high hopes for Stephen in the beginning. Can we have Joe Perry next year, instead?

Lauren is singing Like My Mother Does. Well, she wins the Corny Title award, lets see how it sounds. Okay, I might have gotten teary eyed. Sure, there was one spot where her voice cracked, but the woman is singing with only ONE VOCAL CORD! I thought it was beautiful and her mom fake-crying was perfect. Wow, Randy is on his feet. JLo says she may have just won with that song, Stephen says she’s the winner in his eyes and then offers his toughest line of the whole year – that Lauren wins it hands down. Wow! There may be hope for him yet.

So I think Lauren should win. But I think Scotty will win. What do YOU think?

*Dial Idol measures the busy signals during the voting time on Idle. They are usually right on who’s going to win. If you’re interested, the link is here.