Preparing for the Worst

By which I mean my diet. As I might have mentioned, Kat told me if I was serious about getting into shape, I should try a No-Gluten, No-Sugar, No-Dairy, No-Caffeine, No-Artificial Sweetener, No Alcohol Diet known also as the Go Ahead and Die, Cause Life Has No Meaning Diet. That should make surviving the winter storm headed our way a bit easier. I THINK snow is gluten-free but I’ll double check.

Since the weather report says we’re all going to be housebound for the next few days, I headed to Publix to stock up on some gluten-free products. Here’s what I know about dieting – if I don’t have acceptable food within arms reach, I will cheat in a heartbeat. So I got some gluten-free tortilla wraps, gluten-free cereal, and gluten-free pancakes. I’m not entirely sure what gluten is, but it must cost a pretty penny to get rid of it. Also, it makes food tasty.

The good news is that if it actually does snow, I’ll be trapped here with nothing else to eat and won’t be able to run out for Chick-fil-A when no one is looking. Although, to be honest, who would be looking? No one seems to be worried about my dieting woes but me.

Moon was out of school today, and with teacher furlough days coming up, she’s not scheduled to be back in class until next WEDNESDAY. We could have gone on a vacation, but since she’s been exhibiting signs lately of serious TEENitis, we decided it might be a good time for Re-education Camp. We instigated a zero tolerance policy of “no whining, no attitude, no talking back”.  I am happy to report that Day One went very well.

She wrote all of the rules on her arm so she wouldn’t forget.

Next step, buy her permanent markers.

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