Newton’s First Law

I’ve spent the past week proving “An object at rest tends to stay at rest.” Due to my extensive research, I would change the law to read – An object at rest tends to stay at rest and gain five pounds. It’s true. For the first time in a long time, I slowed my roll to the point I was going backwards. Here’s a few of the things I DIDN’T do –

Monday – No Mom’s in Touch prayer meeting.

Tuesday – Skipped prayer since I wasn’t leading and had the option of missing.

Wednesday – My services as a volunteer at Moon’s school are no longer needed.

Thursday – No praying with my woman’s group this week.

Friday – No plans, nowhere to be, AT ALL

Other than working, cause they expect something for that paycheck they send every two weeks, I did nothing. No cleaning house, no yard work, no volunteering outside the home. Life was GOOD. I may have napped excessively.

Saturday, Moon had a lesson show which meant I finally had to shower and find something to wear besides a ripped t-shirt and a pair of JD’s boxers. And an exciting show it was! The flat portion was first, and Moon was KILLING it – heels down, good posture – then DISASTER. Her pony, the ironically named Never Been Better, decided in the middle of a perfectly good canter to fake left, then right, sending Moon flying over the side where she landed on her butt with a big THUMP.

Wailing could be heard as far away as Chattanooga.

Luckily, this was not my first rodeo, and I stayed seated while her instructor dusted her off and put her right back on the horse. You’re not going to believe this, Kittens, but they gave her a last place on equitation. I know! Personally, I think they should give you MORE points for adding a little bit of drama to the day. Amiright?

Oh, well, the crowd gave her a nice applause as she climbed back in the saddle, where she went on to place second in the jumping portion. Stupid pony. I refused to give him an apple afterward, but Moon didn’t seem to hold a grudge, and since she wasn’t hurt, I stopped the glue factory jokes.

Sunday we went to church, my last day teaching Sunday School, since summer is upon us. No more getting up early on Sundays for the 9 o’clock service! Yay, me. I’m a giver.

After church, we went to Abhi’s birthday celebration, where we toasted his good health with an all-you-can-eat buffet of fried chicken, turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes, creamed corn, black-eyed peas, deviled eggs, peach cobbler, cheese cake, coconut cake and banana pudding. That’s not all that was on the buffet, that’s just what I ate. I’m not kidding.

Which is why I this week I’ll be proving  Newton’s Second Law – The greater the mass of an object trying to get off the couch, the greater amount of force needed to get the object of the couch. And they say physics is hard.