Which is so NOT the case. My MOTHER is crazy.
The UPS man already thinks I drink. Just because I come to the door in my robe at two o’clock in the afternoon does NOT mean I drink. And the empty beer bottle in my hand is for my cigarette ashes. Don’t judge me.
Anyway, the point is that the mailman chose THIS day to leave my mail on the front porch. And my mother chose THIS day to buy six naked mannequins and dump them on the front porch.
Coincidence? I don’t think so. Mother 1, Me 0. It’s going to be a long weekend.