Moron Test Kitchen – Red Velvet Sandwich Cookies

I am a terrible cook/baker/food preparer. Seriously, this is not me being modest. The husband does 97.5 % of the cooking and 100% of anything edible. But lately, I’ve been visiting food blogs for inspiration. It’s not that I really want to be a good baker, but I play bridge every Tuesday with the Grumpy Bridge Pro and he likes sweets. So every Monday I make something in the hopes that he’ll be so taken with my baking skills he’ll forget I threw off the setting trick. Plus my family likes cookies, so I get badly needed points with them too.

Today’s recipe came from Her stuff is usually WAY over my head, but these looked fairly simple. It calls for Red Velvet Cake Mix, 2 eggs and butter. I can do THAT. She put a little asterisk by the cake mix which said “any cake mix will do.” Sooooo, I had a brilliant idea. I’d make TWO batches, one red velvet, and one dark chocolate – THEN I’d use my cool bridge cookie cutter and make sandwiches out of hearts, spades, etc.   The Bakerella cookies –


Step 1 – Make TWO big batches of cookie batter, ensuring double the mess.

Step 2 – Lay down wax paper and pour out batter.

Step 3 – Spray everything  with a flour/pam mixture, then press out cookie shapes.

Step 4 – Did anyone think this would work?? Hello, the batter is too thin and sticky and ridiculous!

Step 5 – Give up and just drop the dang red velvet mixture on every horizontal pan you have.

Step 6 – Wash the red glue like substance off your hands, from under your nails, off the counter. Repeat. Repeat.

Step 7 – While the cookies are burning, make the inside goo – confectionery sugar, vanilla, cream cheese and butter.

Finally – Pick through the unburned cookies to find two that are somewhat similar in size and shape. Fill with goo.  Tada!


Moron Test Score – 6.  If I’m going to make two things – cookie and goo, they need to be really good. I could eat these, but I wouldn’t make again. Okay, I DID eat these. You get the idea.

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