Moron Test Kitchen – No Bake Cookies

To be honest, I’ve made this recipe, or a version of this recipe before. And they turn out eatable about half the time. But I had a very good reason to try it again. You see, a few weeks ago, Kroger had evaporated milk on sale and I had a coupon. Or twelve.


I did a quick search for evaporated milk and cocoa powder – two ingredients I had on hand and thought might go together, when up popped my favorite cookies – No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal.


In the past, I’ve always used plain milk, but this called specifically for evaporated. I was expecting to open the can and find it empty. HAHAHA. Get it? Never mind.

Get your daughter to combine 1 stick of butter (1/2 cup), 3 tablespoons of cocoa, 2 cups of sugar, and 1/2 cup of evaportated milk in a large saucepan. When she asks if she should take the wrapper off the butter, consult the recipe. Then make a guess and tell her yes.


Bring to a FULL boil, not a medium boil, or one that’s at only 90%. Have your husband come in and make that determination because you hate recipes that leave room for interpretation. Reduce heat and simmer for ONE minute, stirring constantly. You’ll get runny cookies if you do it differently. So I’ve been told.


At the end of the ONE minute, add 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1/2 cup of peanut butter, and 3 cups oatmeal. Stir, then drop onto waxed paper to cool.


Give your daughter permission to lick all of the spoons. Then tell her dad that it’s HIS night to get her to bed.


Watch him eat three cookies and rethink the whole “bed” concept.

Moron Test Grade – A+ ┬áThese were easy, delicious, and the right consistency. I think the evaporated milk made them better than my usual version. I had three myself.

In a completely unrelated note, here’s what I’m wearing to Thanksgiving dinner.



5 thoughts on “Moron Test Kitchen – No Bake Cookies

  1. We are eating light tonight how about a salad – those cookies look good hide them before I get there.

  2. I just wanted to let you know that I have been reading your blogs for a few day. I truly enjoy them. I hope you get the book deal you want.

  3. Hey Lisa (Diane), these cookies are your cousin Brian’s favorite cookies in the world. Weird, huh? Who knew that cookie preference was genetic?

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