Lisa Tyre’s Acworth

Sarah Palin’s Alaska garnered the highest premier EVER on TLC with 5 million viewers. I figure my life is worth at least 2.5. Cue the music!

My morning started at 6 a.m. because the MoonPie has learned the art of the alarm clock. Well, “art” may be too strong a word. She wakes up, then yells “MAMAMAMAMAMA” until I go and get in the bed with her. Since I couldn’t see how to turn off the alarm, I just turned the volume all the way down and hit snooze. Surprise! I had turned it all the way UP. How funny is that? Time for a commercial break.

Now it’s time to see me at work in my office. Like Sarah, I tend to dress down. Unlike Sarah, I don’t have an awesome view of the Alaskan landscape. My office is in the basement where I have my choice of looking at a grey wall, or the neighbors carport. Man, my neighbors keep things clean over there. Who DECORATES their garage?

Works done, lets go climb a mountain! Nah, that’s too obvious. Plus, last time I almost puked. Let’s go play bridge! I wonder if there’s an episode where Sarah finds out that the women she hangs with are really back-stabbing, mojo-stealers?

See, in a few weeks I’ll be going to a rental cabin with the bridge ladies. For the past NINE years, I’ve worn one thing on Day 1. A totally, awesome orange, velour suit.

But a few weeks ago, Positive Patty said I should put it in the Yard Sale pile. Then today I went looking for it only to find it MISSING. Carolyn claims she’s taken it and she’s not giving it back. And Mother suggested I wear her PINK suit instead. Do they REALLY think they can steal my mojo that easily? Don’t they realize that I have a back-up plan?

That’s right, the bridge SWEATER. Will I win? Will they give me back my suit? Will our friendship conquer the drama of bridge?¬†You’ll have to tune in next week. Roll the credits!

If this fails, I’m up for Real Housewives of Acworth. Or maybe Woman vs. Food. I’m pretty sure I could do that.

2 thoughts on “Lisa Tyre’s Acworth

  1. Go with the sweater. That orange outfit scares me… And future life masters don’t wear orange, velour anything!

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