Hello, Kittens. First of all, let me reassure you that I am fine. Thanks for all of the cards, notes, phone calls, flowers, prayers and presents. I woke up this morning and felt a lot better. Not better enough to get out of bed right away, but okay enough to bring the laptop into bed with me and do some work. It occurred to me that the verse in Esther that says “You were born for such a time as this” REALLY applies to me. Yes, she was queen and able to save the Jews, while I just lay in bed and create ads using only my fingers and a trackpad, but similar. We all have our grand purpose.

I did eventually get out of bed because I needed to weigh. Three days ago I was talking to a group of women about holy things like my weight, and one of them gave me a sample pack of some weight-loss voodoo drug. I was supposed to weigh, then take the pill/powder for 3 days, and then weigh again. The good news is that I did it and when I weighed this morning I had lost over 3 pounds! The bad news is that JD came in and told me that weighing on carpet would give me incorrect information, and when I weighed again, I’d gained SIX. Could someone remind me why I got married?

Anyway, it made me so mad I decided I’d pay the $89.00 dollars for a month supply of the voodoo drug and keep trying, but then I remembered all of the other times I’d spent $89.00 on weight loss products and decided to pull those out of the closet to try again instead. It’s amazing how much product I have left. I feel pretty safe taking them. Most of the warnings say Long Term Use May Result In blah, blah, blah. Whatever. I’ve never had a diet that lasted more than 8 days so I think I’m safe.

Of course there was a moment when I thought maybe I should consider exercise, but in my life it’s all about choices. Do I go to the gym, or write? Gym or work? Gym or clean my house? Why do I have to CHOOSE? Why can’t I have a job that just naturally causes me to be fit, like being a professional tennis player, or one of those Dancing with the Stars people?

Since I am pretty sure there are no openings in either area, maybe there’s a way to bring the gym to my workplace:

This would be great! As soon as I can figure a way to get it onto the bed, I’m buying one!


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