How my mind works

I was waiting in the car line today at MP’s school, and YES, I was fully clothed, when I realized it was really cold. Like, freezing-rain-and-hail-on-the-car-hood cold. So I started thinking about how nice it would be to have a fur coat. But then some PETA wacko would probably throw blood on me, cause I’m often at high-profile events. So I decided I should get a faux fur coat. Which reminded me of the time my friend Jenny was in a store and she saw a girl pick up a tag and say, “Faux fur? What kind of animal is a fauxfur?”

That  started me thinking about how people say dumb things. Like back in 1800’s when I was in college. Madonna had just married Sean Penn and it was a chaotic scene with helicopters flying around. I was standing in line at the grocery when my roommate looked over at the National Enquirer headline. MADONNA’S WEDDING FIASCO. And she looks at me and says, “Who’s this fiasco dude? I thought she was marrying Sean Penn.”

Which made me laugh. And then I started thinking about how much I weighed in college and how much I weigh now, and I stopped.

I’ve resolved to never think again.

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