Going Off Script

Kittens, this is never going to be a political blog, I can promise you that. First of all, I’m not smart enough to write about politics and secondly, with fewer than 17 people reading this blog per day, I can’t afford to tick anyone off. But it is SUPER TUESDAY, so I must tell you about my involvement in the political process, cause I’m pretty sure I’m making all the difference. (Look, if you’re on Team Obama, good for you. Seriously, I mean it. You don’t have to go through this crazy up and down process that those of us voting for the GOP are watching. Enjoy the fact that you’ve been spared this particular hell.)

I decided several weeks ago that I was going to vote for Rick Santorum, so yesterday I decided to make some phone calls on his behalf from home. This is what I was SUPPOSED to say:

Hello, May I speak to Mrs. Lewis? This is Zolligirl and I’m supporting Rick Santorum for President. I’m calling to urge you to join me  in supporting Rick Santorum in Ohio’s primary being held on Tuesday, March 6th. Can I count on your support for Rick Santorum as President?

Thank you for your time. This message was paid for by Rick Santorum for President.

Mine went more like this:

Me: “Hello? Is this Mrs. Lewis? Yay, a real live person! Hey, this is Zolligirl, and I just wanted to let you know I’m supporting Rick Santorum in tomorrow’s primary, and I’m hoping you’ll join me cause I LOVE HIM.”

Potential Voter: “Uh. Okay.”

Me: “So are you going to vote? Cause I think Rick Santorum is awesome!”

Potential Voter: “Well, I guess I might vote for him.”

Me, yelling: “YAY! THAT’S GREAT! I’m really hoping he’s going to pull it out on Tuesday.”

Potential Voter: “Uh, bye?”

Me in a cheery, sing-song voice: “Okay, then. This message was paid for by RICK SANTORUM! You enjoy the rest of your day!”

I’m expecting my invite to the victory party any second now.

2 thoughts on “Going Off Script

  1. Me, yelling: “YAY! THAT’S GREAT! I’m really hoping he’s going to pull it out on Tuesday.”

    Obviosly not going to happen…… he’s got like 8 kids.

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