Look, I’m gonna keep it real. I could be one of those women that go around PRETENDING that my house is always clean, that my husband and I never fight, that the MoonPie has never misbehaved, but why? Seriously, don’t we women do enough of that? And WHO really has it all together? No one, that’s who. Which is why everyone should blog. You know that woman, the one at work who works out before coming in to the office, the one with the perfect house and the perfect husband and the kids in med school? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could read her blog and she was like, “Man, I just passed gas like a truck driver. Blamed the dog.”
Or not. Well, in case there’s some woman out there who needs to feel like they’re not the only one with a messy life- this is for you.
Our house has a lot of weeds and woods around it, and critters are always looking at my house and saying, “Dude, they have heat and endless supplies of sugar. Let’s go there!” We’ve had mice, SNAKES, and even a flying squirrel. I fully expect to see a deer clamoring up the basement steps one evening. So the other day, JD informs me that he’s seen “evidence” of a critter in the kitchen. He strategically placed a small mouse trap in the cupboard and I strategically reminded myself to avoid the kitchen until 2012.
A few hours later, MoonPie, JD and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when we heard the SNAP of the trap. And then – “THWACK drag, THWACK drag, THWACK drag” as the Creature From HELL began to drag itself around the kitchen! JD went running and “dispatched” it outside. I’m imagining he gave it a strong lecture about boundaries and personal space, then sent it to the neighbors house.
He came back in, set another trap, and said, “If you hear it go off again, just leave it for me to deal with.”
Really? Are you sure you don’t want ME to get it?
If my husband dies on a Monday, I’ll be remarried by the weekend.
I am sure there is a line to fill that job.