Ahh, true love. It’s hard to believe, (trust me, it’s hard to BELIEVE) but on Friday, March 13, 2009 my parents will have been married FIFTY years. Way to go, Margie and James! How cool is that? I’ve been talking about their anniversary for weeks now with my sister (aka: The Eldest & Wisest) and my brother (aka: The Favorite) about what to do to celebrate. My parents are annoyingly stubborn and have said they want:
No Party
No Gifts
No Trips
No Fancy Dinners out
Basically, no fun/celebration at all.
Yeah, like THAT is going to happen. We had decided to say nothing about the anniversary – make no public comments, no plans, etc. and secretly descend en mass on the mountain as a surprise. Then the storm hit.
A few weeks ago my mom called to say severe winds had taken off their porch and made holes in the living room roof. Since they were going to have to fix the roof anyway, they decided to expand the bedroom, add a new porch, and rip out the ceiling. I find it interesting that my dad has decided to do all of this NEXT WEEK, but whatever. Thus the fear of descending en mass only to find our en ass on the street has moved us to come clean about our visit. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.)
We’re going to show up, with a PIG ROASTER and a camera and have a party. Whether they want one or not. We’re going to gather the Guests of Honor, their children, grand-children, grand-dogs and great, grand-child, along with anyone else that wants to claim us as relatives on the mountain for the family photo to end all family photos.
So my beautiful, crazy mom and my hilarious father (who once said, “We wanted to get divorced, but neither one of us wanted the children) will have a photograph of what their love has wrought! I get teary-eyed just thinking about it.
In the tradition of my favorite blog – The Pioneer Woman, I’ve decided to hold my first contest! A 25 dollar gift certificate to The Cracker Barrel (hey, what other restaurant is everywhere??) will go to the best answer of this question: If someone were to write a romance novel about James and Margie’s 50 year marriage, what would it be called? Just leave a comment with your title and I’ll choose the winner. You don’t have to know them to participate, but here’s a hint – sarcasm is probably the way to go. Just saying.
Signed, The (poor, unloved, attention-hungry) Middle One
UPDATE: We finally accomplished something that hasn’t happened in almost 50 years, the parents are on the same side of an issue. They were united in their outrage that we’re coming. HA! All this time I thought Dad was JOKING about neither one wanting the kids. But once we promised we’d stay at least 20 miles away at the State Park, they reluctantly agreed to let us come.
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Blood is thicker than……. VINEGAR!
The Good, Bad @ Ugly
“Good Hearted Woman in Love with a Good Timing Man”
I still remember the sunglasses at night faze
I know I’m the good, but the other two are BOTH bad and ugly! Confusing. Can I win my own prize – I say “Sex, Wealth & Power – How to live without it!”
You would think that someone that calls themselves “Wisest” would know the difference between faze and phase. I move that her submission be disqualified due to irony.
“Faze” means to embarrass or disturb, but is almost always used in the negative sense, as in “the fact that the overhead projector bulb was burned out didn’t faze her.” “Phase” is a noun or verb having to do with an aspect of something. “He’s just going through a temperamental phase.” “They’re going to phase in the new accounting procedures gradually.” Unfortunately, Star Trek has confused matters by calling its ray pistols phasers. Too bad they aren’t fazers instead.
” wishing we had an unpublished number”
“Love is a Battlefield”
Enough said, hand over the gift certificate.
The Devil went down to Georgia – Outlaw
“Dammit Woman: A Relationship Built On 50 Years of Communication”
FROM HERE TO ETERNITY
From Here To Eternity!!!!
I bet it has FELT like an eternity!