I’ve decided that when I don’t have time to post something new, I’ll reach into the files for some oldies but goodies. Tonight, I didn’t have time to do even THAT. So I went over to my brother’s defunct blog and pulled out one of HIS greatest hits.
From: Lisa B****
I’m looking to identify the individual(s) who vandalized the rose at my mailbox. Any information would be appreciated.
To: Lisa B****
From: Ammo Guy
Subject: RE: Vandal
Could you please be more specific. I have vandalized dozens of mailboxes and roses in the last few weeks. There is no way I can be sure if I was able to vandalize yours without more details.
Was the rose dug up and replanted upside down? That’s a trademark of mine. I don’t do all of them that way, but if your rose is upside down, there’s a very good chance it was me.
Also, was he mailbox damaged in any way? I usually try to at least drill a few holes in the top of them, maybe fill it with concrete, but if I was in a hurry I may have just vandalized the rose. I don’t like to do things halfway, but I might have had several to do that night.
You know what, it might be easiest if you just email me a picture of the rose and mailbox. I will definitely recognize if it’s my doing. I take pride in my vandalizing and can I can always spot my work.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
PS: Is there a reward for this information?
Hey, it was just laying there, no one was using it!