Big Sisters…

are seriously overrated.  They do everything first, get years of undivided attention, and never really learn how to deal with a more successful, better-natured YOUNGER sibling.

Take my sister, Tania, for example:


Sure she looks all happy and sweet, but DO NOT BE FOOLED. If I had to describe my memories of her in one word, it would be – MAD.

The first time I remember being the recipient of her anger, I was six. She’s MUCH older so that would have made her eleven. We had just moved to Kentucky to spend a few months while my dad finished a construction job. My sister invited a bunch of the neighborhood kids over, and while they were hanging out in the living room, I decided to provide some much needed entertainment. Even at six, I could recognize a lame party. I jumped out from behind the curtains, in my birthday suit, yelling “Welcome to Naked City!” It was a huge hit and everyone loved it. Well, ALMOST everyone. MY sister? Mad.

A couple of years later when I told, no BRAGGED, about my sister’s awesome Days of the Week underwear to all of the kids on Bus #213, did she appreciate the compliments? No, MAD.

And when she was sick in the 8th grade, and I went to her teacher to EXPLAIN to him, and the entire classroom that she wouldn’t be at school that day because she was home with DIARRHEA, do you think she thanked me? Of course not, she was too busy being MAD.

Put your sister’s picture on a wildly successful blog read by four people on a regular basis? Well, you get the idea.


It’s amazing how jealousy can shape a person’s entire personality.

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