Your Estate Sale is AWESOME

My mom came to town today. She’s been doing that a LOT lately, but such is the life of the retiree. Today she brought Aunt Ann along for the ride. They were in town because they love me and have missed hanging out. Just kidding – it was for another estate sale!

This sale was much different from the last one. In fact, I’d say it’s one of the best we’ve been to all year. Why?

1. There was lots of stuff.

2. The sellers were motivated to get rid of it all.

3. There were no dolls.

4. We were the only ones invited!

My good friends, Kit and Bratt, bought a house in the hopes of remodeling it and putting it back on the market but there was one problem. That pesky dead person left all his stuff! Kit said they would like to have a sale, but who has the time for all of that when you can just call Margie & Ann’s Treasures and Trash Removal?

We showed up with 2 vehicles and some empty boxes and we left with everything we could fit into the automobiles and then some. Bratt actually had to deliver a load to us later.

The back seat was full.

The van was full. The back of the truck was so full that the door(s) my mom bought had to be laid on top and strapped down. Along with the bicycle.  I would have taken a picture of that, but all you could see was the two doors so you’ll have to take my word for it. We got linens, frames, glassware, planters, paintings, tables, shelves, benches, pots, pans, dishes, wrapping paper, light bulbs, decorations, a huge vintage window fan, doors, garden stuff, a doll house with furniture, and a few hundred other things. If my mom hadn’t made the rookie mistake of watching Hoarders the night before, we’d probably gotten even more.

Darn her restraint!

Your Estate Sale Sucks

My mom was in town last week for one day and we decided to make good use of her time and find an estate sale. As luck would have it, we found a neighborhood that had TWO. Unfortunately, we didn’t find one single thing at either that we wanted.

The first house had a few things that were way overpriced and the second house had this:

Expensive dolls…

Dolls on the bed…

Dolls in the corner…

Dolls on the shelves…

Dolls lounging…

MORE dolls on the shelf…

Piles and piles of dolls…

In every nook and cranny…

There were even Barbies of every shape and size.

Mom and I were astounded to say the least. We couldn’t figure out what would possess a person to buy so many dolls.

Figured it out.

5 Things I Learned from Google

Because I’m a very important digital marketer, I was invited to a free Google seminar. It was kind of like a free Google webinar except that I had to get off my couch and out of my robe and actually show up in person. Anyway, I learned a lot of very interesting information and by “interesting” I mean terrifying.

1. The average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. No wonder my phone is so dirty.

2. There are over 300 BILLION websites today. 20 years ago in 1994 there were under SEVEN HUNDRED.

3. Consumers, on average, look at 10 different references before buying a product.

4. When we do an online search, we click the #1 link over 80% of the time.

5. To reach consumers, you should be “everywhere”.

The Google Dude also showed how they’ve analyzed searches and have figured out what ads to show us. They notice when we search “pizza” from our phone, at noon, downtown and will put up ads that show pizza parlors near us. If we search from a residential area, at night, on our laptop, they’ll show us ads of pizza places that deliver. Basically they are stalking us and know what we are going to buy before we do!

From now on I’m ordering Chinese. And I’m only going to look at NINE references before deciding which Kung Pao to order. It should throw off their whole system.

Running Behind

I had a great day today. I sat at my desk and returned emails, sent out ads BEFORE the deadline, talked to people on the phone while I was sitting, not driving, it was almost like my life was manageable. Then I came into the house and saw all of the dog hair and laundry and remembered that I’ll never catch up.

My days are so busy I can’t bring myself to work at night. Who wants to spend all day working, then spend their evenings doing laundry or sweeping? I put on my comfy pj’s then crawled into bed and caught up on all of my television shows. I watched Dallas, Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Being Human, Grimm and Helix. The vampires and werewolves aren’t nearly as scary as the humans.

I’m glad we’re not the Ewings.

I watched the Oscars on Sunday night and was happy that I had seen at least a few of the movies highlighted: Philomenia, American Hustle, Blue Jasmine and August: Osage County.

I keep saying it but it was a really good movie.

I’m sure Gravity and 12 Years a Slave are great too, but I hate movies that are tense or sad or brutal.

That’s also why I haven’t ever watched Braveheart.

I hate it when the main character dies. Plus Mel Gibson’s Scottish accent is so bad I can actually tell what he’s saying.

She Lives!

I’m not gonna lie; last week was rough. I was on the road for two days and out of town for one, so basically I had to do a week’s worth of work in two days. It was a far cry from my usual schedule of stretching two days worth of work to five.

I worked Monday until 9:30 p.m., spent Tuesday getting everything done and packing, drove on Wednesday to Savannah, spent Thursday in a meeting then drove BACK from Savannah, got up early and worked, then packed and left town by 11:00 a.m. for a writer’s retreat. It was crazy so don’t judge me when I tell you that I broke the no sugar/no alcohol rule once or twenty times.

While I was away, my daughter decided to age 10 years which explains why she suddenly looks 22. She went to the 6th grade dance and it was “amazing”, which is weird because she told me for weeks that she didn’t want to go. But she’s also been telling me for weeks that she didn’t need to fix her hair or wear dresses and suddenly THAT’S changed, too. You think you know a kid then suddenly they’re putting their glasses in their purse and wearing lip gloss!

Saturday, she and her BFF went to a bridge tournament and I’m going to go out on a limb and say they were the prettiest girls there. Since I was away, JD took them. I tried to tell him he should stay and play, but he couldn’t handle the mayhem in the parking lot, much less the chaos in the bridge room. Moon and Jemi played Swiss Teams which means they got yelled at a lot and won no points. Also known as: bridge.

While she and JD were out having fun, I was working at the computer for hours on end to get the first 9 chapters of my book edited. I organized a writing retreat with some friends and we shocked ourselves by actually spending the weekend writing. I mean, we didn’t go CRAZY, we stopped occasionally to eat and drink, but there were 7 of us and we all wrote down, then actually accomplished our goals.

We stayed at a friend’s cabin in Elijay which was beautiful and right on the river. Everyone had a bed of sorts. I volunteered to sleep on the couch and it was the best sleep I’ve had in years. It could have had something to do with the fact I left both of my dogs at HOME.

I finally made it back to my house on Sunday evening and collapsed on my OWN couch. Even though there’s a dog on it already and I’ve got to go back to work tomorrow, it’s good to be home. I really missed it. The cabin in Elijay was beautiful and had a wonderful view and deer in the backyard and fancy furnishings, but home is where I find the things I can’t live without.

Hello, WiFi, I missed you so much.