Going Zolli

I mentioned last week that an agent requested my entire manuscript. Actually, she said my first 10 pages were ADORABLE, and she wanted my manuscript. Sorry to repeat myself, I just wanted to make sure you got that part. About my first 10 pages. Being ADORABLE.

Anyway, when I saw her name in my email inbox today, I wasn’t thrilled. I’ve heard that agents/editors/publishers send letters with bad news, but will CALL you with good news. Turns out, I’m still hanging in there!


Thanks so much for sending this along. I’m traveling this week and, since we’re coming up on Thanksgiving, it’ll take me a little while to read. I apologize for that delay but I really am looking forward to digging in.

Mary Kole

Whew. Waiting to find out if someone wants your book is hard. But I’ve been interested in seeing how another writer handled the unveiling of  her debut book. Sarah Palin seems to be doing okay with the whole agent/book publishing business. So I’m wondering….


Do you think I’ll get my bus BEFORE or after the book is published?

What does it all MEAN?


* Image photoshopped to make me look as bad as possible.

Hmm. Up before the chickens, sleepy, staring at the computer…


Early morning traffic…


Standing outside a strange house, obsessively checking the time…


Mother with her arms full of a stranger’s clothes… it can only mean one thing -Estate Sale, BABY!

Or, we’re thieves. With a fetish for the smell of moth balls. Whichever.

Conversation with the MoonPie


MP: I am so EXCITED that M from the Mountain is coming today!

Me: Why? You know she was a terrible mother to me.

MP: How?

Me: She used to cook my dinner and put all kinds of vegetables on my plate. And I had to EAT them. That’s all I got!


Me: Yes.

MP: But, WHY?

Me: Some people think children should eat vegetables every now and then. If I didn’t eat them, I didn’t EAT.

MP: Mom, it’s not nice to lie to a Brownie.

Moron Test Kitchen – No Bake Cookies

To be honest, I’ve made this recipe, or a version of this recipe before. And they turn out eatable about half the time. But I had a very good reason to try it again. You see, a few weeks ago, Kroger had evaporated milk on sale and I had a coupon. Or twelve.


I did a quick search for evaporated milk and cocoa powder – two ingredients I had on hand and thought might go together, when up popped my favorite cookies – No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal.


In the past, I’ve always used plain milk, but this called specifically for evaporated. I was expecting to open the can and find it empty. HAHAHA. Get it? Never mind.

Get your daughter to combine 1 stick of butter (1/2 cup), 3 tablespoons of cocoa, 2 cups of sugar, and 1/2 cup of evaportated milk in a large saucepan. When she asks if she should take the wrapper off the butter, consult the recipe. Then make a guess and tell her yes.


Bring to a FULL boil, not a medium boil, or one that’s at only 90%. Have your husband come in and make that determination because you hate recipes that leave room for interpretation. Reduce heat and simmer for ONE minute, stirring constantly. You’ll get runny cookies if you do it differently. So I’ve been told.


At the end of the ONE minute, add 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1/2 cup of peanut butter, and 3 cups oatmeal. Stir, then drop onto waxed paper to cool.


Give your daughter permission to lick all of the spoons. Then tell her dad that it’s HIS night to get her to bed.


Watch him eat three cookies and rethink the whole “bed” concept.

Moron Test Grade – A+  These were easy, delicious, and the right consistency. I think the evaporated milk made them better than my usual version. I had three myself.

In a completely unrelated note, here’s what I’m wearing to Thanksgiving dinner.



Oh yeah, THAT’S why I homeschool.

Clayton teacher charged with putting “hit” on student

According to the student’s attorney, Forde pulled the 16-year-old student out of class and asked him if he was gay. The next day,  the teacher got into a verbal altercation in an algebra class, said Terance Madden, the student’s attorney. A few days later, Forde asked another student to “put a hit” on the teenager, according to a police report.”The suspect advised to the witness that he would pay him to kill the victim,” the report states.

Man. And I used to worry about the “paddle”.

A disturbing trend

OR, why I hate the mall.

A few days ago, the Moonpie and I went to the Mall for our Build-A-Bear adventure. As you may recall, a few days ago was EARLY November. Yet what did I see?


That’s right, Christmas trees every where I turned. Side bar: This photo was taken about 8 seconds before two security guards stopped and explained that there was NO photography allowed in the mall. At which point I explained that I produce Zolligirl, a blog of high importance and sophistication, and they arrested me on the spot. Just kidding. We just ran. They were kinda old.

Back to the story. SO, don’t you hate it the way Christmas has been moved up until right after Halloween? It’s so annoying. You can’t even enjoy Thanksgiving anymore. I hate that the fall season is so rushed, and it gets me out of sync, like I should be out buying gifts and trimming the tree, when I haven’t even had my TURKEY! Ugg. But hey, if I have to suffer with a shortened season, YOU have to suffer with a shortened season.


Merry Christmas! And you’re all invited to our New Year’s party. It’s Thursday night.

Holy Sunday

A friend asked me recently why I don’t post something of a faith nature. Here’s why: I am HORRIBLE at writing about things of faith. There’s a writing community online, where you are given writing assignments and critiqued. It’s called Faith Writers. I can NOT do it. It always sounds lame, like I’m trying to write a Spiritual Hallmark card. Occasionally, I’ll put on the worship music and try to make up my own psalm. Not good. In fact, I’m pretty sure if Heaven has anything like You Tube, I’ve gone viral.

So, instead, I’ll just SHOW you something of a faith nature. That works, right?

Behold, the Cardboard Testimony. These are going on all around the country, real people, real churches, real stories.

JD and I did one at our church. I can’t remember what our signs said. Probably something like, “Was Medium Holy, Now Wholly Holy”. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that was it.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

We have developed a reward system where we administer Team Tyre points. The MoonPie gets points for good behavior, completing tasks, a good attitude, etc. Points are also TAKEN away for bad behavior, not completing tasks, having a BAD attitude, etc.  Some days I go back and forth, adding and subtracting points, until the chart is illegible. The GOAL is to get to fifty. Getting fifty Team Tyre points is a BIG DEAL. That’s when the MoonPie gets to do or buy pretty much anything within reason. Keep in mind that it takes a LONG time to accumulate fifty. JD has never gotten above 12, but that’s a story for another blog post.

Anyway. We hit the magical number on Monday, and the MoonPie knew right away what she wanted to do – a trip to Build-A-Bear.


There are rows and rows of animals just waiting to be stuffed. She didn’t even hesitate.


We’ll go with the Pawsome Pony, please.


First, he had to be stuffed to just the right cuddle thickness.


Then she held it’s satin heart in her hand, closed her eyes, and made a wish. I’m guessing something like -Oh, how I wish my parents would drop the Team Tyre points from 50 to 10. Never gonna happen.


Next, a kiss for luck. I tried not to think about how many other kids had run their hands through that box of hearts.


Time to groom the pony.


Hey, can’t a pony have a little privacy? Geesh.


Last stop, the dressing table. Help me! Can’t you see that I’m a BOY pony?


Awww. How sweet? All of this for only $37.00 WITH a coupon.

We may need to raise the Team Tyre goal to 75.

More about me

I know that 98% of my readership tune in each day to A) see pictures of  the Moonpie, or B) hear stories about the MoonPie, and I do have some new ones. But they’re going to have to wait. I mentioned yesterday that an AGENT requested the first 10 pages of my novel. Today, she responded with this:


I adored the first 10 pages. If you could slip me the full manuscript as a Word doc attachment, I’d love to keep reading.

Mary Kole

She ADORED it. My first 10 pages are ADORABLE. So instead of spending the last few hours editing MoonPie and her latest cool endeavors, I’ve been re-editing my novel to send today. How exciting is that? If she finds the OTHER 260 pages adorable, we’re good to go. You know me. I can do adorable for long stretches, right?

Never mind. I promise that tomorrow, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. And it will even  include bears.