Wanted: Driver. Must have own alarm clock.

Team Tyre received a letter last week addressed to The Parents of Moon Pie. Since it was from her school, I naturally assumed it was an apology for her 3rd place finish in the Science Fair. Surely they’d realized the error of their ways and were sending us a blue ribbon! If not that, then maybe a congratulations for doing so well in the PTSA Reflections competition, or, I know, maybe notification that we need to come to school for an award ceremony like last year when she won the Frey Award. Turns out, I was wrong. WAY wrong.

Seems MoonPie has been “tardy at least 10 times this year. Attendance is very important. Blah, Blah, Blah, and if a student is absent 15 times a SOCIAL WORKER WILL BE CALLED.”

Yeah, you read that right. I called the school today to read them the riot act. And by “read them the riot act”, I mean blame JD. I also wanted to know if they consider a TARDY to be the same as ABSENT, since I plan on taking Moon to Alaska for a couple of days in May. The nice woman in the office assured me that they were different and that Moon had only been absent a couple of days, so going out of town should be fine. Then she read our file and informed me that Moon had actually accumulated SIXTEEN tardies. And by the way, at 20, a SOCIAL WORKER WILL BE CALLED. Oh, and all of this is going in her PERMANENT RECORD.

Kittens, this is like Nazi Germany, amiright? Who calls a social worker cause a kid is late? And, in our defense, only a little late. The office acknowledged that most of the tardies were in the 1 to 5 minute range. And, I’d like to add, that we’ve been in school 8 months, so 16 tardies is only 2 per month. And with approximately 20 days of school each month, 2 is only 10%, which means we’re on time 90% of the time! Which in my book is worth an award, not censure, amiright? Of course I am!

Geez. Rest assured Kittens, we have learned our lesson. We won’t be late anymore. If we’re running behind, we’ll just skip the whole darn thing. We’ve got at least 13 absences left, no sense in wasting them.

Moon’s permanent record is going to make for interesting reading by the time she graduates.