Running Out of Juice

This has not been the best of days for Team Tyre. JD is a professional faster, as in the dude can go a week on just water. So when he mentioned doing a juice fast, I thought, why not. Why NOT? How about crushing headaches for starters? Day one was fine, I was a little hungry and not loving the green juice, but not bad. Then the headache began. I spent most of yesterday laying on the couch with the lights off. Today was a little better, but I’m still not feeling great. JD, on the other hand, has QUIT. Yes, the King of Fasting has left me on my own. He started feeling bad yesterday with a head cold, and spent TODAY in bed. This diet is awesome.

Still, I refuse to give up. One of the reboot programs calls for only eating raw and cooked veggies and fruits. How easy is that? So I’ve been juicing two meals a day, and eating a salad for dinner. Crazy? Well, let’s put it this way. On the morning of the THIRD day, I’d lost two pounds. TWO. And I’m not hungry at all. Who can eat with a pounding head?

Despite feeling terrible, JD and I wanted to celebrate the 15th so we asked Moon where we should go. She picked the highest caliber restaurant she could think of – O’Charleys. She had 47 rolls, chicken and french fries, JD had 47 rolls, soup and salmon. I had a plain baked potato and a house salad with oil and vinegar. I think we know who puts the hard work into this marriage.

On the way home, Moon was discussing the possibility of us reaching our 5oth one day. But she assured us that if we DID decide to divorce, she’d be okay with it. “I mean, I’d probably be sad for a week or two, but I’m sure I could deal with it.” I blame her friend with the dad who lives on a houseboat. I’m due to go out of town for a weekend in December, so I told her she and JD could pretend we were divorced. I plan on taking all of his money and turning off the water before I go. This diet might be making me mean. Just as long as it’s making me skinny.