This Moron Test Kitchen is brought to you by Rachel. I told her I’d try to make anything she wanted, and she LOVES the rolls at O’Charley’s. Surprisingly enough, they don’t actually post their recipe on their website. So I googled it and came across this random recipe CLAIMING to be what I was looking for.
Mix 1/2 cup Crisco oil, 1/2 cup boiling water, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1/3 cup sugar. I called both my husband and my mother and asked “Do they mean Crisco OIL, or Crisco SHORTENING?” Tbey agreed- shortening. I’m not so sure, because mixing it was impossible.
Next dissolve 1 package of dry yeast into a 1/2 cup of lukewarm water. Mix and pour into the oil mixture. Now beat one egg and pour it into the mixture.
Add 3 cups of all purpose flour. So far Rachel’s comments have been, “gross”, “this stinks” and “do I have to touch it”.
Yes, yes you do.
Form into a ball. Lightly flour and let sit for 2 hours. It didn’t SAY this, but I saw some other recipes that say to cover and put in a warm place. So we did.
Hey! It actually got bigger. Shake the bowl so the ball drops down in size a bit. Then pinch off a piece, roll it into a ball, and place on a greased baking sheet.
We made regular balls, and for fun, a few made up of 3 little balls, for the puffy, cloverleaf look. The recipe says to let them sit ANOTHER 2 hours. Seriously? We gave them an hour. I couldn’t see that anything was changing and since I didn’t want to spend my ENTIRE day watching dough, we threw them in the oven. 15 minutes at 400 degrees.
As Rachel put it, “We made BISCUITS’. And not very good ones. Moron Test Grade – F! I thought about giving it a D, since they were EDIBLE, but the disappointment factor swayed me. It’s like following a recipe for carrot cake and getting a carrot. Same family, not quite the same flavor.
Feel free to let me know where I went wrong. I’m guessing it was the part where I went into the kitchen.
*NOW my mother says that if it says OIL, you should use OIL. “They look a little dry.”