Kittens, It’s a Monday.

And my laptop is all kinds of messed up. See, my lovely daughter decided to FLING herself across the couch in a very dramatic fashion, bumping her head on my keypad in the process. Her head 1, laptop 0. Now anything white, like a Word document, blog posts, the internet – is purple. With bright green, glittery specks. So I’m guessing my Monday is going to entail a drive on 285 to the Apple store so some “genius” can fix it. Or not. The thought of packing up my laptop and mailing it off for who knows how long is making me a little freaked out!

I can actually use my computer as long as its attached to a monitor, but JD is giving me the “better get it fixed before it gets worse” speech, although he has never used that particular speech on HIMSELF which is why I’ve been stranded in every automobile we’ve ever owned on every road in Cobb County. True dat!

So, the weekend. Let’s work backwards. Today was church and it was awesome as usual. JD went this morning but Rachel and I had an appointment and couldn’t make it. Then we cancelled the appointment and stayed home watching tivo’d episodes of The Middle. But LATER we went to evening church so we’re not exactly heathens. Three boys spent the night, so they went too, and it was fun pretending to have four children. I wore almost no makeup and a wrinkled shirt, but who could blame me?? I HAD FOUR CHILDREN TO GET READY. A lot of children will buy you some serious grace.

Saturday Moon hung out with the three boys (see how that worked) and I drove to Big Canoe to have a writing workshop with my friend Deborah. Have you ever been to Big Canoe? Picture 8,000 acres of winding country roads with gorgeous scenery and lovely cabins. Then picture a lady trying to get OFF the mountain for thirty minutes and finally having to wave down a stranger who is kind enough to lead her to the exit so she’ll stop crying. She could have used her phone’s GPS but she had left it at home. Oh wait, turns out it was in her bag the whole time! Good. Times.

Sometime before Saturday, maybe it was Friday? I don’t remember, but at some point I found myself at the Atlanta Food Bank with friends from church and the Girl Scouts.

My job, along with all of the children, was to pick up the food from boxes and put it on the table. It is way more complicated than it sounds. First of all, you have to OPEN the boxes, most of them donated from Publix and Kroger. THEN you have to throw away any chocolate. If one happened to throw the candy in one’s purse by mistake, it’s not like it’s STEALING. It was going in the trash!

Once it’s on the table, other people check the expiration dates to make sure it’s okay to send through.

Being expired doesn’t automatically disqualify the food. You have to check the expiration date against a chart that lists particular types of food and just how expired it can be. The sorters also had to check for fruit juice content, dented cans, recall items and anything leaking or previously opened. This is why I chose to open boxes and put them on the table.

Moon did it for the gloves. Putting the food on the table MAY seem like the easiest job. Okay, it did seem like it. But THEN  I lifted and twisted and hauled food onto the table for three hours  and ended up in bed for the next 36 hours eating Advil and moaning “my back, my back” non-stop. Interestingly enough, Moon was fine.

I guess it was that purse with 14 pounds of Rolo’s that did me in. It wasn’t STEALING, it was going in the trash!