For NO REASON at all I decided to google the medical condition know as “menopause”, in case one of my much OLDER friends might one day go through it. I mean, I need to know how to encourage THEM, right? And as I was reading the symptoms, something became very clear to me. It HAS to be a tall tale. There is just no way it could be true. Obviously, this is one of those silly things your mother tells you to try and curb your behavior. Like “if you don’t eat all your vegetables, Chinese people will starve,” “be nice or the boogeyman will get you,” and “if you’re not perfect, I’ll stop loving you.”
To think I ALMOST believed it. Some of the symptoms sounded rational – hot flashes, irritability, anxiety. But like most tall tales, they went too far. I mean, hair loss from the head, and hair growth on the face? Electric shock sensations under the skin? Changes in body odor and the feeling of ant’s crawling on your body? You expect me to believe that menopause is the morphing of a young, nubile woman into a stinky, bald, bearded, hateful, sweaty, twitchy, worried, fat mess that pees herself? That is HIGHlarious. You really almost had me.
Ha, ha. Good one, ladies. Very clever. Not that it mattered to ME anyway, but my older friends will be relieved.