I just noticed that when the intro shows the last three winners, I had totally forgotten about them all. The longer AI is on, the less inclined I am to care. Shouldn’t that be the opposite?
Tonight’s contestants get to choose any song from the 21st century. Scotty has TEN years to pull songs from and goes with the cheesy, Just A Swinging. By the way, I remember that song when it came out by John Anderson. Slightly more than ten years ago. I’m so OVER that head tilted, hunchback, creeper style of singing. Stephen wants more boot-scootin’, JLo likes the story-telling quality but says it’s time to pull out the big guns, Randy says it was safe and boring. Hey, who withheld the prozac from the judges this week? They finally managed to be critical. I’m with them, D.
Say hi to James Durbin. Now say hi to his high-school marching band. It started off low and mumbled for me, but when he hit the chorus, I have to say he sounded great. JLo called it amazing, Randy called it unbelievable, and Stephen says something about his closet. Solid A.
Next up, Haley. She’s going to sing Adele. ADELE. Is it me or does it seem like Jimmy Iovine is really ready for her to go? I admit I was skeptical, but I think she sounded awesome! Randy says she found the perfect direction, Stephen says it was a great performance especially in the middle, and JLo said there were moments she brought Haley to it. I think the gods that run American Idol want her to go home. But I liked it. A-
Jacob sings Luther Vandross. He cries and I swear it looks like Jimmy is about to cry too! This is how I feel every time Jacob sings. Stephen says he is so good even though he lost the track and that his dad was up there listening. JLo says a bunch of something that I couldn’t really follow. Randy says it was good emotionally, but vocally it didn’t make him jump up and down. He wants him to stop holding back. Noooooo! Please, someone cut Randy’s mike. For not crying during the performance alone, a B-
Casey is getting ready to sing, but first we have to watch the other contestants make fun of him. Really, Scotty? You want to make fun of how other people look when singing? Jimmy seems to really like Casey. In that Godfather Mafia way that makes you think he’ll kill you if you cross him. Casey rocks Maroon Five and manages to plant a kiss on the cheek of the most beautiful woman in the world! JLo says she loved the performance, Randy says it was surprising and that he loved it, Stephen says he’s a cult hero and he’s so %$# good he’s pissed off a bunch of people. I think if he wins, it will be FOUR pictures at the beginning of the program that we’ll all have forgotten. B-
Stephano is ready to fight! Good thing cause Jimmy is cussing at him. He tells him to bring the sexy then shocks us all by telling us he wasn’t all that sexy when he was in school. WHAT? Well, Sir, you’ve certainly made up for it now. Hmmm. I’m not sure Stephano should try sexy. The whole dancing with his suspenders down? Reminds me of this:
Randy says it was smooth, Stephen says he was hoping he’d dance and he did, and JLo thought he had his swag on. Same old Stephano to me, C.
Last but not least, Lauren Alaina. Jimmy Iovine decides to freak out Lauren by bringing in Miley’s producers and remind us all that he said she was a better singer. I’m losing patience with this kid. Just SING IT, darn it. And that is one stupid dress you’re stomping around in. Stephen makes no sense at all and makes a request like he’s at Mainstreet Bar, JLo says she has color in her voice and she should go for the big notes, Randy tells her to challenge herself. I’m tired of being her weekly self-esteem builder. B MINUS for the wasted potential.
JLo says any of them can win, Randy says to BRING IT, and Stephen says to Casey that God said “all men are created equal” but some are more equal than others. I say Stephen needs to recheck his Bible.
I predict Scotty has his first visit to the bottom this week. What say you?