I’ll be honest, I’m writing this after a long day of seminars and leadership sessions and laughing so hard that someone actually peed their pants. In a word, “exhausted.” This review may or may not bear any resemblance to reality. Unlike the perfectly worded and on-point critiques of the past.
Living legend Carol King provides tonight’s inspiration. This is the point where I thought, “Hey, she looks like that guy that sang that song,” then I couldn’t remember the song or the guy and spend thirty minutes on YouTube searching for “dude from the 70’s”. Oh yeah, Jimmy Hall.
Well that was worth all my time and effort. Now, where was I?
Jacob is up first up and sings it over and over and over in rehearsal. Who dressed Jacob? I’m guessing Haley cause she has the most to benefit from him losing. There are so many great singers in the world, but Jacob is not one of them. ARGGGH. Stephen says it “was beautiful, man”. I HATE him. Jennifer says there were spaces where it wasn’t perfect. Yes, if you consider the Grand Canyon a “space”. Randy said the scatting was incredible. I hope he scats on out of here tomorrow. C-
Why is Jimmy trying to kill Lauren? First he disses Miley, then he brings in her producers, and now Miley herself. He must be paying some serious penance for trashing her. Lauren looks beautiful and she is singing GREAT. JL0 says she was pushing, Randy says it’s time to throw down the gauntlet and he didn’t love the song, but loved that she came with a vengeance and a bunch of other stuff that I ignored, and Stephen says she shined when her voice broke. I must shine every time I sing. I loved it – A!
Haley and Casey sing I Hear the Earth Move Under my Feet which allows us to see some flirtatious banter. Casey isn’t doing it for me, and the whole dancing together thing makes me a little embarrassed for them. Duet – solid C.
Scotty does You’ve Got a Friend. He starts sitting and holding the mike with only ONE hand which is a big improvement over the usual creepy/crawler performance. I think it’s sounds really FLAT and a bit of a snoozer. I’ve seen so many people do this song, and all of them did it better. Randy says the beginning was flawless, Stephen says he’s never sang better which is ridiculous, and JLo says he is getting better at reaching for the notes. They are on crack. C-
James sings Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. BabyFace says he was blown away, and Jimmy says he and Carole King were made for each other. Okay, I’m NOT a James Durbin fan, or a fan of hard rock, but the dude KILLED it. Stephen says it was the first song he ever made out with a girl to, JLo says it was magical, and Randy says he might just win the whole thing. I had written him off as a rock version of Adam Lambert, but he just MIGHT win the whole thing. A+
Lauren and Scotty sing something. This is not going well already when Scotty gives Lauren advice on how to hold her microphone. I think she sounds great and he sounds like corn-pone-corny-candy-corn. JLo says Lauren sang her brains off and that Scotty did a great job backing her up. Which I’m sure he LOVED. B+
Casey is up next. Jimmy says Casey is always pushing the boundaries. Right, kissing JLo on the cheek is ground breaking! Well, he LOOKS dapper. I’m going to admit something. I like the blues, and I like freaky singers, and I actually bought a Taylor Hicks cd. I’m not proud, but I tell you this to say that if I think you’ve jumped the shark, you’ve probably lost everyone else. I’m going to start calling him Freeda after my special needs dog who growls at the voices in her head. No love for Casey. C
Haley sings something. At the point they were introducing her, I was calling Georgia because a TORNADO is on the way and I needed to tell JD to go to the basement. And to take the Moonpie. Men have to be told these things you know. I THINK she did well, but I didn’t see God like Stephen. Everyone else says something which is trumped by Lori telling me a mile wide tornado hit Rome, Ga. and that her family is hiding in the bathroom. Uh… B-?
Jacob and James scream the last duet and it confuses Stephen more than usual. I thought they were annoying. This whole duet thing has put me in a bad mood. That and the tornado thing. C
So, JACOB is going home, obviously. Leave a comment and let me know what YOU think. And that you made it safely through the storm. That’s important too.