Mine, well..he rocks. He’s cute, he’s funny, and he does all of the cooking. PLUS he’s all smart and stuff. Half the time, I don’t even know WHAT he’s talking about. I just nod and think, “keep talking cute boy. I’ll figure it out sooner or later.” I highly recommend getting one for yourself.

Rachel and her BFF Jemi are already working on it. Run girls, RUN!

If you have Photoshop and like to play, then you need to try the brushes tool. I never used to use it because all I had was the typical paintbrush..uh, brush. But then I found this website – Brusheezy and started downloading their FREE brushes. They have everything – animals, grunge, musical notes, graffiti, flowers, leaves, all kinds of cool stuff.  They’re like stamps – you just pick a color and stamp it on your document. It’s simple enough to download them, and save them in your Adobe file, presets folder. They are zip files so you’ll have to unzip them, then go to Photoshop and load them. You can leave a comment if you need help.

This is something simple that REAL designers already know. But if you’re like me and spend your days updating Facebook and reading goofy blogs, you might have missed it. Now that you know, go play!

1. My sister is fine. Don’t feel bad for her. Did I tell you she crept into my crib and stole my baby ring off my pudgy finger? My family holds each other to a certain standard – it’s not how much money you make, or how well your children do, it’s your ability to playfully skewer each other. My brother is the best at this. If HE ever gets a blog I’m changing my name and moving some place where the Internet is just a dream.

Tania attempting to choke me at an early age.

2. Little things make me happy. Just look at this baby..

Every morning as Rachel and I begin her homework, it’s always the same problem – no sharp pencils! Even though we have three small plastic sharpeners (the .79 cent variety) and TWO electric sharpeners, they never seem to work. So I finally gave in and bought ANOTHER one from Staples.  This throw back to Livingston Elementary school is AWESOME.

Look at that pencil – I want to hug it, I want to stalk it, I want to give it cute little names like Missy Sharpster and Queen McPointy Lead. I told you, I am a woman with simple needs.

3. My church is the coolest.

Sure your church probably has Jesus, the Bible, and singing, but does it also do scavenger hunts? Stonebridge held our version of The Amazing Race, sending pairs scurrying across the Marietta Square to find things like the price of sandals at Go Fish, and a restaurant that serves Hot Chocolate with Cheese (turns out there were TWO). So when you get to heaven Jesus will just think you’re  holy. He’ll think we’re  holy and FUN.

Me: How are you?

MAD: What do you want?

Me: I need a favor.

MAD: HA!

Me: So I’m guessing you saw the blog.

MAD: Joe said you  had to look long and hard to find such a bad picture of me.

Me: Not really.

TTM on her way to work.

On the occasional Saturday, my mom would surprise us with a special breakfast treat – hot biscuits and chocolate gravy. If you’ve never had it, you don’t know what you’re missing! My sister (you know, the MAD one) has kept the tradition going, and made it for everyone during the 50th Anniversary weekend. If you feel like giving it a try, thus ensuring your children will love you forever, the recipe is below.

Chocolate Gravy ( Passed down from Granny Lucille Lewis)

Melt 2 tablespoons butter and  1 cup milk in a sauce pan.

While that’s melting, mix together 1/4 cup cocoa, 1/2 cup sugar, 2 heaping tablespoons flour, and a smidge  of salt.

Once the butter has completely melted into the  milk, whisk in the dry ingredients.

Uh…that’s it for Granny’s recipe. BUT, Tania the Mad swears that she’s perfected it. If you TRUST her, then do the following:

As the mixture starts to thicken, add in another 2 tablespoons butter, and 1 cup of milk.

Then pour it on your biscuits. Granted, my mother made her biscuits from scratch, but who has time for that? It’s CHOCOLATE, for breakfast!  The frozen kind will work fine.

All that’s missing is a big pat of butter melting in the middle. Okay, so it doesn’t LOOK all that appetizing, but it is yummy. I don’t know of many people or places that make chocolate gravy, but it’s big in my hometown. A few years ago, while visiting the family, we went to a local restaurant for  breakfast and they had it on their BUFFET. Of course, it was right next to a pile of fried bologna, but still.

are seriously overrated.  They do everything first, get years of undivided attention, and never really learn how to deal with a more successful, better-natured YOUNGER sibling.

Take my sister, Tania, for example:

Sure she looks all happy and sweet, but DO NOT BE FOOLED. If I had to describe my memories of her in one word, it would be – MAD.

The first time I remember being the recipient of her anger, I was six. She’s MUCH older so that would have made her eleven. We had just moved to Kentucky to spend a few months while my dad finished a construction job. My sister invited a bunch of the neighborhood kids over, and while they were hanging out in the living room, I decided to provide some much needed entertainment. Even at six, I could recognize a lame party. I jumped out from behind the curtains, in my birthday suit, yelling “Welcome to Naked City!” It was a huge hit and everyone loved it. Well, ALMOST everyone. MY sister? Mad.

A couple of years later when I told, no BRAGGED, about my sister’s awesome Days of the Week underwear to all of the kids on Bus #213, did she appreciate the compliments? No, MAD.

And when she was sick in the 8th grade, and I went to her teacher to EXPLAIN to him, and the entire classroom that she wouldn’t be at school that day because she was home with DIARRHEA, do you think she thanked me? Of course not, she was too busy being MAD.

Put your sister’s picture on a wildly successful blog read by four people on a regular basis? Well, you get the idea.

It’s amazing how jealousy can shape a person’s entire personality.

Meet my friend, Jeanette.

Jeanette and I decided about this time last year to train and do the Acworth Women’s Triathlon. We decided to do this one for a variety of reasons – to get in shape, it’s a mini, meaning you only swim 400 yards, bike 12 miles, and run 3.2 miles total, it’s close, just down the street, and it’s women only – no aggressive men knocking us down in a rush for the first buoy. Since  it takes place in August, we had plenty of time to train, and Jeanette actually lost over THIRTY pounds during the process.

We made two crucial mistakes. Jeanette decided NOT to buy a new bike, opting to use her mountain bike with fat tires which had the traction of a hampster’s wheel, turning and turning without actually getting anywhere. And I wore a trisuit. A very thin, very TIGHT suit in which I swam, rode, and ran. You know those tight spandex shorts that show every dimple – image that coupled with a cold swim in Lake Allatoona followed by a chilly,  12 mile bike ride. My pictures had to be heavily photoshopped to be shown. Still, I have to say we looked great.

This is our ride out of the transition area. Jeanette was all business but I worked the crowd.

A couple of young fans cheering us on.

Competing while the men and children cheer you on is one of the best part’s of the day. Jeanette’s husband bet me 25 bucks that we’d never do it. If we didn’t – I’d pay him the cash. If we did, he’d carry a sign that I got to write.

Here we are at the finish line. It says, My wife rocks and her friend, Lisa too! I said they’d never do it but I was WRONG! What he didn’t realize is that we could have TOTALLY won the race, but we took our sweet time to ensure that every single person saw him.

571 women finished the race. Jeanette and I came in 568 and 569th place. I’m not kidding. ALMOST, but not quite dead last. I’m thinking of looking up who came in as 570 and 571 and paying their entry fee for this year’s race. But the thing is, I don’t even care. We DID it. The latest census says there are 9791 females in Cobb County, which means a whole bunch of women chose NOT to even participate. So I’m encouraging all my women friends to join us and enter this year. It was a lot of fun, and if I can do it, anyone can. I find no shame in dog pedaling, floating, coasting, or walking my way to the finish line so you’ll always have someone beside you. You’ve got plenty of time to train, it’s a great incentive to get in shape, and unless you’ve got a serious medical condition, like say..one leg, you’re almost guaranteed to beat us.

It takes 60 seconds to wash.

No tangles, no tears.

It’s going to be very cool during the summer months in Atlanta.

There are so many cute accessories for short hair.

It could have been so much worse.