What’s up, Kittens? The Zollifolks have had a busy week. We were in Florida for three days and I’m not going to lie, it was 9000 degrees. Seriously, look it up! We almost DIED.

 

It was pretty, though. This is the view from the restaurant where we ate dinner.

 

They didn’t have an air-conditioner, and I got so hot I actually took off my blazer and sat in PUBLIC in my spaghetti-strapped shirt.

We were in town so that JD could shoot photos of one of our communities. I went along to supervise. Moon went along to eat out every meal.

Moon was bored out of her skull until the staff found crafts for her to do, and let her work serving the residents their ice-cream. If I’d known she liked serving the elderly, I would have let her bring me my dessert eons ago!

On a side-note, the dress she is wearing was given to me by my husband about 18 years ago.

Speaking of things you don’t care about, we got back just in time for me to get to the Non-Life Master bridge tournament that was happening in Marietta.

I don’t want to brag so I won’t mention how I did.

Feel free to email me if you’re wondering. Or if you can’t read the headline, or see the images.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This week saw the start of a new bible study at my friend, Mantamy’s house. We’ve only had one meeting but I’ve already learned that Thessalonians refers to a place, Thessalonia, Silvanus is also Silas, and Ikea sells coconut covered chocolate balls that are to DIE for. I’m hoping the next eight weeks brings me a greater understanding of Paul’s letter. And also more of the desserts, cause seriously, they are YUMMY.

Mantamy, as I’m sure you remember, is the friend who’s taken me from India, to Paris, to the shores of Cape San Blas. I’m pretty sure I’m listed as a dependent on her tax return.  In fact, there’s a whole host of people are might be listing me on their 1040s. “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Name that Movie/Play!

In keeping with my having the best friends EVAH, my friend and bridge partner Positive Patty gave the Tyres’ tickets to WICKED. It was fabulous! We learned that the Wicked Witch was framed, and that deep down inside, she was actually very good. That gives great hope to us that are related to Tania-the-Mad.

Moral of the story, my friends ROCK. You should look into getting some. (Just not mine – they’re taken! Why do you think I never use their actual names?)

Where is that global warming I’ve been hearing about? It is so cold here it is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. Okay, bad example, since I NEVER want to get out of bed in the morning, but it’s been worse lately. The only good thing about it being so cold is that I can finally wear the 1970’s suede and fur coat I bought at my mom’s vintage fashion show. I walked around all day like a 70’s pimp. The coat is seriously warm and seriously heavy. I took it off at work to hang it on a coat rack and it BROKE the rack. Bummer. But if you’re going to make me come into an office, this is the type of thing that’s going to happen, amiright Kittens?

Even without the cold, this has been a trying week. Counting Thursday, I’ve been to work four days in a row. I mean, actually getting out of my bed and into my car and driving, work. I know what you’re thinking – are they going to buy me a company car? I’m pretty sure that’s a law, so yeah.

I’m going into the office because a friend/coworker is visiting and we need to talk about google analytics, monitor our social media, check on our tracking numbers, and eat. But mainly that last one. Tonight I tried pork with pimento-cheese grits and I have to say it was totally worth the drive into work. I wonder if they deliver. Those grits would be perfect for breakfast in bed. Surely they don’t expect me to do this again for another year or so.

 

 

 

 

Have I mentioned that my shoulder hurts? Well, for the past 6 months or so, I’ve not been able to lift weights with my left arm or do pushups, and getting out of my jog bra is a real struggle. So basically it hasn’t hindered me at all except that I can’t exercise, which is to say NOT AT ALL.

Still, I felt like I should go to the chiropractor and see what they could do. Kit had great success when her shoulder hurt, so I went last week for my first treatment. Have you ever visited a chiropractor? It’s changed a lot in the last few years. Now they use something called an ACTIVATOR which is like a mini pogo-stock that they pop you with. It’s supposed to knock your bones back into place.

Sounds like a plan to me! I’ve been twice and I can’t really say yet if it’s working, but they do have a fun table that you stand against, then it lowers horizontally while you lean against it, so that’s something.

I’ve been going to the doctor/dentist a lot lately. Tomorrow I’m going to the dentist for a cleaning, but I also get to tell them that the crown I received two weeks ago is already CRACKED. Since I’ve been dieting for 12 years and haven’t had any solid food, I blame them. After that visit, I get to go to the dermatologist and have a bump removed from my head. It’s noting serious, but since I’m dangerously close to looking like a unicorn, I thought I’d have it taken care of. What really stinks is that if I’m going to drop $250 bucks at the dermatologist, I want it to be for something important like Botox, amiright Kittens?

I don’t have time tomorrow, but I’d also like to fit in a trip to the nail salon this week. It’s sad that I’ve finally reached the place where I have the money to get work done, and I’m too dang old for it to make a difference!

 

My mother came to visit this weekend and brought Aunt Faye which is why we found ourselves driving around in the rain, pawing through a stranger’s rhinestone bikinis. I’m a bit slow but when I saw the girlie photos, the bikini, a nurse uniform, a leather bustier, and a “utility” table with O-rings all over it, even I figured out I was looking at 50 Shades of A Weirdo. It went downhill from there. You know it’s bad when the biggest item my mom bought during the weekend was an ironing board. The shopping was so bad we actually spent time talking and I found out how old my mom is. I guess the fact that her MOM is 101 should have given me an idea, but for some reason I had deleted about 5 years from her age. Which is totally unlike Tania-the-Mad who has ADDED several years. It’s true.

The good news is that they didn’t come for the shopping, but for the birthday celebration. Moonpie is officially a TEENAGER. I can only hope the next few years are like her birthday – drama free. I know all moms (except possibly ONE) say this, but she really is the best kid EVER. She is polite, friendly, kind, smart, funny, creative, laid back, obedient, and beautiful. Oh my gosh, she’s just like ME!

We told her we’d do anything she wanted for her birthday, but she just wanted to keep it low key. I have to say she doesn’t complain or give me attitude very often at all. Of course, as she said this weekend, her whole life is like an elective – horseback riding, bridge, volleyball, and guitar lessons – so what’s there to complain about?

According to my mom and Aunt Faye, a lot, but that’s a story for another time.

 

 

 

 

This weekend was full of fun, I’m almost positive, but I can’t seem to remember much of it. Yes, I did go to some friends house for great wine and great steak, two things that managed to make an impression in the fog that is a Justified binge, but other than that I have no clue.

Let’s see if I can work backwards from Saturday night and remember. Oh yeah, I did have my nails done. That’s not particularly exciting but since I’m typing with my hands and can see my fingers, I thought I’d mention it. Before that I cleaned my house and wrote a synopsis for what I hope will be book TWO. That doesn’t seem like a whole lot but when you intersperse it with hours of Boyd Crowder and Raylan Givens it makes a day.

Friday night I worked in the office because there was nothing on TV and people pay me, but mostly that first one. Before that, I went to lunch with a friend, and before THAT, well I could make up something but really I just watched more Justified.

I only have 2 more seasons to get through before I’m caught up, so soon I’ll be ready for something new.  Like all of my OTHER shows to come back on from winter hiatus.

I’m not a real ambitious person, but you knew that already.

Let’s get this out of the way -I do NOT want to move to Harlan, Kentucky. I never really wanted to, but after watching approximately 16 hours of the FX show, Justified, I can definitely mark it off my list.

For years I’ve been hearing about the show, but because the early seasons weren’t on Netflix, I couldn’t watch them, and who wants to start in the middle? No one, amiright Kittens? But over Christmas I became an Amazon Prime member and the rest is history. There’s just so much to like about the show. Like –

The STORY

and the HUMOR

and the COMMENTARY on the cultural implications of growing up in the poverty stricken Appalachian Mountains and trying to escape your past.

It’s really a BEAUTIFUL example of a well-written drama. I think I’ll go watch it now and make notes.

 

 

My spirit animal is the sloth. While I did DO a few things and GO a few places this weekend, I did them veeerrryy slooowwwwllly. Friday I slowly worked on the computer but I couldn’t bring myself to do anything else like shower or dress. So, a typical day. At one point Moon’s BFF came over and we played some bridge but that was about as exciting as it got.

But Saturday was practically a carnival. First of all, I got dressed – that’s always a good start. Then Moon and I picked up her BFF and went to a bridge tournament in Roswell. There was an adult game and a junior game. I could have tried to find a partner but that seemed like too much trouble, so I just sat in a chair in the lobby, sloowwwly attempting a crossword puzzle while the girls played. For the record – I knew three.

The girls played great but we had a bit of a hiccup. At first they sat at table ONE but then the instructor moved them to table FOUR. When the game score came up, it had them listed as pair ONE with a 2nd place win. As we were driving home, the girls checked their scores and realized that their scores were listed under the FOUR pair name and they should have actually won FIRST PLACE. It wasn’t that big of a deal, I mean it’s just a trophy. I didn’t think there was any reason to send an email and tell the instructor and get her to update the bridge director and mail us 1st place trophies. Just kidding, of course I did! I didn’t drive all that way and sit in a chair for nothing.

Saturday night Team Tyre went to a friends house for deer chili and to cheer on the UGA football team. One of those things made my sick to my stomach. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Sunday, I skipped church and stayed in bed for most of the day. That’s what you do when you don’t want to dress or shower and you’ve got a bedside table full of books. All of that laying around hurt my neck so I had to lay around some more to ease my headache. At some point, even I was too sluggish to stand myself anymore so I put on some yoga pants and did a yoga video. By “video” I mean “YouTube”. It was only 5 minutes long, but I like to pace myself.

In other news, scientist landed a rocket on a moving comet and have poor fashion choices.

 

 

 

 

 

You’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been. I had many photogenic opportunities this week to post my whereabouts on Facebook, but I didn’t want anyone to feel bad that they weren’t me. Let’s face it, that’s a real problem. But since we’re practically FAMILY, Kittens, I’ll give you all the juicy details.

My friend Mantamy and her husband invited me and some friends to their home on the cape. That’s how we beach people say it, “the CAPE”.

In case you’re looking at this and thinking my life is nothing but fun and games, I want to assure you that in every life some rain must fall. You may not realize this from looking at the photo, but that sand is REALLY soft making it quite difficult to walk. Unless you move over about three feet closer to the surf, then it’s pretty perfect.

Anyway. unlike my trip last year, I was not about to chase something called a “bait ball”. I did however take off in rough seas to chase dolphins. It’s amazing what grown women will do when a dolphin fin shows up. I wasn’t even wearing a LIFE JACKET. There we were, out on the big, blue sea paddling against the wind, harassing dolphins. For some reason, they kept swimming away. Still, there’s something wonderful about floating on top of the deep water, smacking the water like a wounded seal, with no real idea what is swimming underneath you. At one point, a ray of some type leapt out of the water near us. Just as I was remarking on the wonder of aquatic life, Mantamy helpfully pointed out it was either “just having fun, or being chased by something.” Fun fact: You can pee in a kayak and no one will even notice.

While the weather was beautiful, it also became very windy.  Since that meant would couldn’t kayak on open water anymore, the ladies found other things to kill me with, like walking and riding bikes, and kayaking on the BAY. That’s how we beach people say it, the “BAY”.  The bay is the part of the beach that no one goes to unless they’re fishing or doing a paper for marine biology.

Believe it or not, that man is actually kayaking in 8 inches of water. There were several times that I just bent my knees and scooted along the bottom.

When we got tired, we just got out and dragged our kayaks back to shore.  I enjoyed it very much, and made note that at least we didn’t have to worry about sharks. That’s when Mantamy’s husband, LEGUS, told us that he’d heard an 8 foot hammerhead lived at the end of the dock.

It’s almost like Mantamy and Legus don’t WANT us to come back.

If that’s the case, they’re going about it all wrong. What is a shark or two compared to beautiful views, yummy food, cold beer, and hanging around a bunch of crazy women and laughing until you cry?