LIfe Would Be Better With a Maid

Sorry for the light posting, Kitten, but this week has been  FULL.  Moon is going to camp and I got the big idea to invite a girl from her cabin to go shopping beforehand so the girls would have at least one familiar face. Because my motto is if you’re going to clean your house, you might as well invite as many people as possible to see it, I actually had 2 moms, 3 tweens, and 2 younger kids over for a day of swimming, lunch, and duct tape crafts on Tuesday. Luckily I had my support staff on hand to help with lunch and the crafting parts of the day – thanks, JD!

Monday I cleaned the house, Tuesday we hung by the pool, and Tuesday evening, I finished all of the work I needed to do that I hadn’t finished Monday night. We call that burning the candle at both ends, I believe.

Today I spent the entire day working at a local ministry folding and stamping and preparing 2000 newsletters for mailing. After 6 hours we finished, well except for the part where I actually mail them. Luckily I had some volunteers on hand to help with the folding, etc. – thanks, JD and Moon!

Tomorrow I’ve got more running around to do, ads to finish, emails to answer, blah, blah, BLAH! How am I supposed to finish season one of Lost at this rate?

On top of everything else, I couldn’t get this song out of my head:

Substitute “couch” for “plane” and I’ve got a theme song.


Weekly Round-UP

This was a busy week Kittens, but I’ll get to the good stuff first. I. Won. At. Bridge. That’s right, I played bridge on Saturday and my partner and I actually came in FIRST overall. That means of everyone there, we had the highest winning percentage. Boom!

Some other cool stuff happened too. Like on..

MONDAY I went to Passion City Church with some of my lady friends and heard a great testimony. I admit that then entire time this lovely lady was telling about her horrible year and how God healed her, I was thinking “Glad that’s not me.” Uber holy, or what? Sure I could persevere and give God the glory, but how about I just sit here all comfy/cozy and watch Netflix? My lame level of faith is not news to God, so I’ll just keep hoping one day to be one of THOSE types of people.

TUESDAY I hung out at my local ministry all day, then came home and washed clothes and packed. Not only did I have to get MY stuff together, but JD and Moon’s and Freeda’s, too. Because the three of us headed down the road on WEDNESDAY and went to Savannah. I had to work for a few days so I figured since I had a hotel room, why not bring the en-Tyre family. While I worked on THURSDAY, the two of them walked around Savannah, took a water-taxi back and forth to the hotel, and hung out by the pool. That night, we went to dinner with family and ate our weight in chicken fingers and spuds, and I discovered something called honey-horseradish. YUM.

FRIDAY, I rode back to Marietta with my friend/coworker John, while the rest of the crew went to St. Simon’s.


No, it wasn’t fair, but someone had to come home and look after the pool and water the plants and according to JD, that someone was me. 🙁 I can’t remember the last time I have spent the night at home without even a dog to keep me company. It would have been even sadder except that on SATURDAY I kicked serious bridge butt as I believe I mentioned, and that night I watched the season finale of Orphan Black, because clones.

SUNDAY I went to church, then lunch with my faves, Bratt and Kit. I came home and  started cleaning house in anticipation of JD and Moon’s arrival, only to find out they had car trouble about two hours outside of Atlanta. Nothing like sitting in Acworth knowing that your husband just got in a car with strangers to go get car parts while your daughter and dog hung out at a gas station. What could possible go WRONG?

Thankfully, they made it home all safe and sound and Moon has a cool, new story to tell about life on the road. Not as cool a story as my bridge win, but good all the same.


Working For A Living


I’ve been running around like crazy and finally found myself in Savannah this morning. I have been working hard all day and after many hours of sweat and tears, I was finally able to set up a Google Plus page and connect our blog to Facebook.

Thank God technology finally caught up with my skill set – sitting.


Group Games

Well. I thought that I was going to get a pass on this blog since I had decided that Mondays’ would be Moron Monday’s, and I’d just post a recipe at Beginning Recipes, but nope. Turns out that I forgot to take a picture of the finished product on one Moron Recipe, and while I did cook up something else, my daughter wants to use the photos for HER blog. That’s right, Moon has a blog. And as soon as she actually posts something, I’ll give you the link. For now, she’s just content to steal my ideas and sit on them.

It’s fine, since there was something that went on last week that I forgot to tell you about. Monday,  I took Moon and her BFF to a super-secret location where they met other “homeschoolers” for a group Minecraft event. This is were a bunch of kids sit in a room and play a video game together, without actually having to speak to each other or interact physically in any way.


I know the location looks slightly murdery in this photo, but it’s by invite only. I had to have a real conversation, like on the PHONE, with the leader before she’d let us come. Tomorrow is day two and I’m busy, so the other moms, who for some reason DO have to interact, with get to meet JD. Either the girls will never get to come back, or I won’t. For some reason, people always seem to like my husband better than they do me. It’s probably because he’s always sucking up to people by talking, and stupid stuff like that.




Bad News for the Husbands

My sister and I are going to live forever. I know this because of the commandment, “Honor your father and mother so that it will go well for you and you may live long on this earth.” My mother requires a lot of honoring.

This morning, Tania-the-mad called to tell me that she had recently been enlisted to go to the local pound and pick up a dog. Our mom had seen one on the Grundy website and deemed it perfect because it was a small Yorkie, and it didn’t like men, but especially that last one. Evidently, my dad has a way with animals and my mom is sick of him getting all of the love. So off to the pound my sister went and now she is the proud, temporary owner of a 6 year old Yorkie who, while he may not like men, LOVES anything else that stops long enough for him to hump. Mom is going there very soon to take him off Tania’s hands, and by “soon” I mean at least two weeks.

This AFTERNOON, I drove into town, found a spot to park, walked a half mile, and stood in line for 30 minutes so that I could be one of the first people in line at an estate sale. Then I spent the next 45 minutes calling mom and saying things like, “Do you want hatpins for 6 dollars? I don’t know if they’re pretty, they’re hat pins. Do you want a cigarette case for 4? A parasol for 15? A shawl for 6? A pipe for 4?” After I had purchased everything, I had to walk the 1/2 mile back to my car, then drive it to the house where I could park in the driveway for a nano second while I picked up the heavy things, then I got to sit in rush hour traffic all the way home. But Mom will be here very soon to take all of the things I purchased for her off my hands, right after she gets rested from her trip to Tania’s.

Through all of this, I’ve learned that Tania and I have made a very grave error. We each only have ONE daughter. What were we thinking?




Look What I Done Did


First, you dig out one of the numerous old chandeliers that are sitting in your garage. THEN you go to WalMart and buy some solar lights and glue them where the bulbs should be.


Hang it in a tree, then wait for dark.

outdoor lighting

This is what I do in my free time which is why my house is so dirty and I am so fat.

But with lights this dim, who can tell??



My Baby is Back!

Whew, it was a tough 2 days there, but my laptop is home from Mac Camp. Learn from me and never charge your phone using a cheap gas station charger and the USB port of your computer. The Mac dude originally said it was going to be a week to 12 days but I think the sobbing freakout in the showroom swayed him to put me to the front of the line. I dropped it off on Tuesday, moped around the house until I finally broke down and used my DESKTOP, and struggled to be productive using something called a “mouse”. Finally on Wednesday, it hit me. We own two OTHER laptops. Oh, yeah, I should just use one of those.

I’m not sure I would be blogging even if I had my laptop. JD was out of town this week so I’ve been flying solo. It wouldn’t be bad, but Moon has camp this week so I’ve been running her back and forth, then going to pick her up at a friends house or dropping said friend off, so I haven’t even had a second to sit down and enjoy a cocktail. What I’m saying is, I drink more when JD is around. Can I get an AMEN from the married ladies?

Anyway, back to my being super busy. I got up this morning and dragged Moon from the bed so we could get to horseback riding. THEN I picked up Rimfire, Baby A, and CK because I needed CK to come and clean out my basement. Those other two were just for fun. While CK was cleaning out a bunch of junk and throwing it into the dumpster I had delivered last week, I took Moon and her BFF to art camp. THEN I came home and took Freeda to the vet. She’s suffers from itchy skin, so we needed a few meds. THEN I went to pick up Moon and her BFF, drop off some things at Goodwill, get everybody a milkshake, pay CK, welcome JD home, and THEN run to the Mac store and pick up my baby. So, a bunch of unimportant stuff to fill my day, then my computer.

Now I’m off to sit on the couch, with my baby on my lap, and a long-awaited cocktail in my hand.

Me, a computer, a drink. What could go wrong?



Crazy People doing Crazy Things

I spent the weekend in Virginia with my lovely sister and her crazy friends/family/mother. It was time for ANOTHER vintage fashion show, (I believe this was the 189th annual one) where ladies of a certain age come together to buy vintage purses and jewelry. Or as my brother calls it, Hags with Bags.

Before we could actually prepare things to SELL, we needed to BUY some stuff. Luckily, Grundy has about 7 QVC overstock stores, and we were able to find one that hadn’t recently burned down. The highlight of the shopping trip was when my sister pointed my mother to some bargains on the other side of the store and my mom screamed, “I HATE IT OVER THERE!” We know a breakdown when we see one so immediately began to laugh, I mean investigate. Seems a woman was “talking” over there and driving mom crazy. “You mean that elderly lady who looks like she’s had a stroke?”  Yeah, that one. Despite the poor woman’s terrible habit of “talking”, we were able to find my mother some cute outfits to match her sunny disposition.

The show was a great success and everyone was happy and afterwards we all jumped in Tania’s pool, fully clothed, to celebrate. Okay, that was just me and by “jumped” I mean “got pushed” and by “celebrate”  I mean “pee”.

Moon didn’t come on the trip, opting instead to hang with her dad and go to ComicCon, so I brought Rimfire. She was fine the entire trip until we started the long car ride home and she tried to tell me that Harry Styles looks “adorable” in this picture:


He has a man bun. Enough said.

Rimfire is crazy, but I think I’ve established that she comes by it honestly.