Moron Test Kitchen- Easiest Recipe Evah!

Seriously. This has got to be the easiest dessert in the history of easy desserts. Which begs the question – where has it been all my life??? I don’t even know the name of this recipe. One of my bridge ladies made it last night and it was delish! I’m calling it Milk Sop Cookie Cake but I’m pretty sure that’s not it’s official name.

First, the cast of characters –

Two packages of Chips Ahoy chocolate-chip cookies, a large container of Cool Whip and some milk. That’s it.

Dip the cookies in the milk and put them in an ungreased pan. Don’t worry about how long, is it a soak or a dip, blah, blah, blah. Just dip them, in and out, and put them in the pan.

Then cover the layer with Cool Whip. Then start a SECOND layer of dipped cookies.

Then cover THAT with Cool Whip. Do you see where this is going? All in all, you put in three layers of dipped cookies, covered with three layers of Cool Whip.

And then you take a few UNdipped cookies, crumble them in your hand and sprinkle on top. Voila! You’re done. I think. I didn’t ask if you were supposed to chill it, but I stuck it in the fridge while I cooked dinner. I figured it would give the cookies a couple of extra minutes to get really saturated with milk.

Serve it up!  Super easy, really yummy, and done in ten minutes.  It tasted a little like a cookie mousse. Which may be a better name than Milk Sop Cookie Cake. Feel free to use either when you serve it to your friends.

Moron Test Grade – A+ (Hat tip to Vicki for the recipe)

Back to School – 4th grade edition

School started today, and in an effort to help Moon put her best foot forward –

she got a pedicure of course!

Cutest toes in the entire 4th grade!

Outfit courtesy of Justice. And by “courtesy”, I mean overpriced.

Messenger bag by Gwen Stefani for Target. It’s called Harajuku, which means “cheaper than Justice” in Japanese.

Cutest KID in the entire 4th grade. And by “cutest” I mean, CUTEST. Just to be clear.

Lake Allatoomuchfun!

If you ever wonder if your parents really loved you, just ask yourself one simple question – Did they ever take me camping? If the answer is yes, then you can rest assured that they loved you beyond what reason and basic common sense dictated.

Oh, guess what we did this weekend. Since school starts Monday, Team Tyre decided to wrestle one last full-filled weekend out of summer by piling all of our stuff in a borrowed SUV and heading to the lake. Moon will tell anyone that asks that the highlight of last year was her camping trip, a trip we’d been avoiding repeating because A) it’s 112 degrees outside and B) my butt muscle is still lying on the bottom of the lake from last year’s adventure. But we needed to do SOMETHING, so back to the lake we went.

Moon had one rule – no electronics. I know, right? Who is this kid and where have we failed?? We had to go old school – sunsets, grilling, reading books to each other. It was exhausting.

Our neighbors had no such “rules”. They drove up in their fancy RV, spent 10 minutes setting up their satellite dish, then disappeared into the air-conditioned interior to never be seen again. So sad.

We could have taught them a thing or two about roughing it. Like watching your dogs get so hot they puked inside the tent. On your bed. While you were sleeping on it. Apparently, camping isn’t for EVERY member of Team Tyre.

But Moon had a huge time. And for the FIRST TIME EVER, J.D. said he really liked having a boat! Boats are great for dads because it reinforces their role as the “fun” parent. Never has the difference between our personalities been more pronounced.

JD: I’m going to hit the waves so fast Moon, you’re going to fly completely out!

Me: Well, when those waves break my spine you’ll be feeding me through a tube for the rest of your life!

Which explains why I got left on shore with a book and the cooler for about three hours while they went ‘tubing. Come to think of it, my MOM always got left behind, too.

Moon had a blast as she tried skiing, tubing, and snorkeling every day until she fell into bed each night exhausted. All in all, it was a great way to end the summer.

It’s not, however, a great way to start a Monday.

P.S. Thanks, Mom. I love you too.

Accents Y’all

You know how when your watching a movie with an American actress playing a British person, like Renee Zellwegger in Bridget Jones’s Diary, or Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors (FAVORITE, btw), you wonder if they are getting the accent right?

They probably aren’t.

Colin, Pride and Prejudice goes a long way, but the way you say “hazardous waste” makes me want to cut off my ears. Blimey.

Moron Test Kitchen – Chocolate Cobbler

As you may recall, I was in Zollicoffer back in July for a family reunion. I had planned on just showing up and eating but my mother got all flustered and swore that we “couldn’t show up empty handed! It just wasn’t DONE.” Really? Cause that’s the way I’ve been showing up for the past 40+ years, but okay. The problem was that neither one of us wanted to make the five minute drive into town to buy groceries. So my mom looked around in her pantry and came up with this –

Flour, egg, oil, brown sugar, baking soda, sugar, and milk. Doesn’t EVERY pantry have this just hanging around? Excellent. Let’s get started.

In one bowl, combine 1 cup of self-rising flour, 1/2 cup of sugar, and 2 tablespoons of cocoa. We didn’t have self-rising flour, but the recipe said this – As a substitute for 1 cup of self-rising flour, place 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a measuring cup. Add all-purpose flour to measure 1 cup. Duh? Like who didn’t know THAT trick?

Stir in 1/2 cup of milk and 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil until smooth. Then pour into a greased 8 inch square pan. Or a round 7 inch. Or and 9 inch oval. We don’t get all legalistic around Zollicoffer – just grab something clean.

Now in a separate bowl, combine 1 cup of firmly packed brown sugar with 1/4 cup of cocoa. Then sprinkle on top of the batter. You know, the stuff you just poured into the greased pan?

Now pour 1 and 3/4 cups of HOT water over the mixture and DO NOT STIR.  I sat there quietly for ten minutes until my mom explained they meant don’t stir the batter. Bake at 350° for 40-45 minutes or until top of cake springs back when lightly touched.

Once cooked, take it to your family reunion, then grab a plateful at the first opportunity. See cousin David’s wife watching, and put one of HER brownies on your plate, just to be polite. Chuck her brownie in the trash at the first opportunity. She’s a YANKEE, didn’t we cover this?

Moron Test Grade – A. This was just okay but my mama was supervising and I learned all my cooking from her, so I’m going to assume she put the same amount of love and attention into it that I did. And DESPITE that, if you paired this was some vanilla ice-cream, it would have been delish! I think it’s a great last minute dessert for unexpected guests.

Unless you don’t LIKE your guests, in which case you could just give them David’s wife’s brownie.

Actual recipe HERE.

Bed Potato

Kittens, I’m not going to lie. This may not be the most exciting Zolligirl post you’ve ever read. Well, after yesterday’s bridge post, anything would seem boring, but this is pretty bad. I blame my daughter.

Last night, as we were heading to bed, she reminded me to PLEASE stay in bed in the morning. See, I have this “Breakfast in Bed” coupon that has been hanging around since Mother’s Day and she REALLY wanted me to use it before school started. So I stayed in bed like a good mom. And waited. And waited. Turns out the kid sleeps late. So I read a book until she FINALLY got up and coerced her dad into cooking me eggs and toast at around 10:30.

Along with the breakfast, they brought me my laptop, and this is where it gets sad and pathetic. Since breakfast in bed was so good, why not lunch? Yes, Kittens, I stayed in bed, WORKING and eating, until 3:30.

And then I stomped around the house wondering why I had gained so much weight.

Then I made a crumb cake to take to bridge.  The end.

(Check back tomorrow when I may actually shower and walk to the mailbox. Emphasis on MAY.)

A List of Bridge Firsts

The Ruff-n-Sluff held a bridge tournament this weekend and I got to play four times. Yeah, baby, YEAH! My dear friend and frequent partner, Patty and I played the FIRST session on Friday.

While we didn’t win any points, we had lots of fun and met some nice people. Not the people at the first seven tables we played, they were annoying and told us what we should have done, how to do it better, why that’s not allowed, blah, blah, BLAH, but everyone after that was okay.

This is the only picture I have of Patty, which is weird, cause it looks like she’s worried and searching the room for another partner. That can’t be true, but it’s the only photo I’ve got. The fact that she decided NOT to play with me at any more sessions is probably just a coincidence.

This is bridge extraordinaire and frequent Zolligirl commentator, Dan O. This is the FIRST time I’ve seen Dan since last year’s tournament where he and his wife kicked my booty. Dan can’t play at this tournament because he now has too many points. I was so sad to hear that. NOT. Anyway, Dan now is now the Grand Director of Regional Tournaments that require Traveling with the ACBL. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s all fake, but his wife seems to buy it, so who am I to contradict? He was there “helping” direct.

This is my friend Vicki who played in her very FIRST tournament. I like to see her expressing the proper excitement of such an occasion. It’s a scary thing to play with someone you’ve never met, but Vicki was a trooper. True Story: While Patty and I were playing the first session, we decided to help Vicki find a partner for later. Patty went up to two men and asked if they were playing later in the evening. They said they probably would and Patty whispered to the younger of the two, “Well, our friend is a lot better looking than your current partner, so if you were looking to change….” He opted NOT to dump his partner, who just so happened to be about 105 and in a wheelchair, but you can’t blame a girl for trying. Later that evening when Vicki appeared, he came up and said, “You were right, she is MUCH better looking than my partner.” Then he gave her his phone number. Vicki got her FIRST bridge come-on. Excellent!

I played that evening with Louise. We’ve played together twice before, and done well each time. For some reason, we were on fire and came in FIRST overall for 2.5 points! Kittens, it doesn’t get any better than that. Amiright?

The next day I played with Anne Marie. It was our FIRST time playing together but we still managed to do well. We tied for 2nd in our flight for .41 points. Yea, me. I mean, US.

Why do all my partners look like they’re searching for other people to play with??

Since I was playing a fourth session and it was too far to drive home, I went to dinner with Louise and Dan where we talked bridge the entire time. Then Louise and I played, and for the FIRST time, lost.

Sorry, Louise.

But the night was not all bad. Dan O was there “helping” remember? He managed to find a side game and came in FIRST with a 67% game with someone he had just met for the FIRST time. Congrats, Dan O!

Then I came home and for the FIRST time in a very long time, I’m bridged out!

At least until tonight when I have my regular game. Yeah, baby, YEAH!

Making Mom Happy

Prepare yourself – I got my hair cut today.

And while I was at it, I washed out that horrible brown rinse and let my natural color shine through.

FYI: I know the blog posts have been short lately, but there’s a big bridge tournament in town and I’ll have plenty to tell you on Monday. In the meantime, you might want to google “Slam”, “Finesse” and “Jacoby Two-No-Trump”.