I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that I am ancient, but the Universe just won’t let it go. The other night I canceled bridge because the weatherman said it MIGHT storm. Even forgetting the fact that no one under twenty watches the weather channel, who cancels fun over what MIGHT happen? If my sixteen year old self could see me now, I’m pretty sure she’d cry. Back then, my parents would hand me three dollars for gas, remind me that the front tires were looking a little low, and tell me if it started to storm to come home. As IF. The night was full of possibility. A car, gas, bad weather – WHAT IF I got caught in a storm and me and that cute Junior on the football team had to huddle together under an overpass? I might get a KISS. Bring it on!

Now, I’m thinking WHAT IF I’m driving, and the wind picks up, and a branch FALLS off a tree, goes through my windshield and I die? I admit the chances are low, but so was the above scenario where I ended up kissing a cute Junior, but it didn’t stop me from planning for the eventuality.

Tuesday I went to my local salon and had my eyebrows waxed. Which was especially awesome since in addition to the PAIN, the attendant made sure to ask if I’d also like to take care of my lip. It’s enough to make a girl want to stay in bed.

But then I put on my big girl Depends and went to WalMart. Take THAT, Universe.