Ahh, we’re starting off with a touchy feely look back at the elimination that wasn’t. “Hope has been Renewed!” Wow. For a second there I thought we were talking about what amounts to a musical game show. But suddenly I feel like peace will reign, politicians will do the right thing, and I’m going to drop those last 14 pounds by eating O’Charley’s rolls.
Here come our judges. JLo is looking GOOD even with the largest earrings known to man. I really had no idea that I was going to like her this much. Ryan has a new hairdo and looks about 12. Randy is Randy and Stephen is tranny, let’s get started!
It’s Elton John night. I like all of his music. I might have to go to Itunes and actually buy some.
First up, Scotty’s singing Country Comfort. I think he sounds respectable and the “love you Grandma” just melted hearts everywhere. Stephen says something about high-heeled cowboy boots, Jennifer says he has great instincts, Randy feels like he’s at a Scotty concert. As an expert on the hopes and dreams of silly, country girls, I say he’s making it to the top 3 based on their nimble fingers alone. I want more personality, but I’m giving him a B+.
Naima is singing a reggae version of I’m Still Standing. I LOVE reggae so she’s already making me happy. Well, it wasn’t pitch perfect but they are always harping about making it your own, and she sure DID. Jennifer says the song was a poor choice for reggae, Randy agrees and uses the “C” word – CORNY, Stephen is useless. It did border on a cruise boat reggae show and while I enjoy the “mad flavor” of reggae, I predict most people will hate it. C-
Here comes my favorite – Paul. Despite once singing Rocket Man and bombing, he’s giving it another go. Hmm. As much as I love this dude’s voice, it’s like he’s the musical version of Sominex. Could he be any more CHILL? And that last “long, long time” was just about lame. Randy says he needs to “go there”, JLo says he probably has more power than even he knows, Stephen is mentally unstable and says he won’t like it when Paul hits all the notes. Which would be a lovely thought coming from Paul’s family but not so great for a JUDGE. Sorry Paul, but I say C.
Oh joy, Pia is doing ANOTHER ballad. I don’t care that she hit the high note -I’m starting to find her annoying. Wearing a dress that is one octave from showing the fine china, disregarding the judge’s critique, I don’t even like her hair! I guess you could say I’m over her. Stephen says he’s crying on the inside, JLo felt her more than before, Randy says she slayed it. I guess I’m outvoted. I’ll be mature and give her an A. minus.
Stephano is singing Tiny Dancer. Please be good, I love this song. Ah, good job little Stephano, you kept your eyes open! JD is watching with me and thinks he’s killing it, in a good way. It just makes me want to go to You Tube and listen to the original. But he finally finds a way to connect with JLo by walking out and touching her. She says he was amazing, Randy complimented him on his eyes being open, (seriously, am I the only one that finds that pathetic) and Stephen says even though he’s a bit “Broadway”, he connected with the audience. I’m still bored. B
Georgia girl, Lauren sings Candle in the Wind. I’m briefly distracted by the amount of makeup they’ve put on the girl, but as soon as she starts to sing, I’m officially on team Lauren. Randy says its her best performance so far, Stephen calls it perfect, JLo says she’s amazing and says its the best of the night. I have had high expectations since her audition, and up until tonight, I’ve been disappointed. But the girl is back! A+
James McScreamer is doing Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting. Is there a class that rockers take that tells them all how to behave? Throw the microphone, check. Set the piano on fire, check. Stephen says he’s got a great rock voice, JLo says he makes her forget this is a competition, Randy loved the fact he’s enjoying himself. It must be hard to enjoy yourself, what with staying in a mansion, getting to go to movie premiers, being styled and dressed by professionals. How DOES a young man do it? You know I don’t love him, but I understand how you might. Based on singing and not whether or not he can keep his eyes open: A+.
Next in the spotlight, young Thia. She’s going to channel her emotions for her brother and sing Daniel. Sidebar: I would love to sit next to Jimmy Iovine on a long plane ride. I get the impression when the cameras are off and he’s hanging in the studio with his buds, he’s laying some serious snark. JLo likes it, Randy said it’s pitchy and too safe, and the 3rd judge offers the same stupid nothingness. STEPHEN, where have you gone? I think I dozed off. She’s getting a D.
Hanging by a thread, here’s CASEY. He’s gotten rid of the mountain man beard, so that’s a good start. He sings Your Song, and NAILS it. JD calls it the best of the night, so take THAT JLo. Randy says the save was a good move, and that his performance was brilliant. Stephen says the last two notes alone were worth the save, JLo says she sleeps like a baby. Um. k. I loved it. What is with me? I’m like a High School Technology teacher who coaches on the side and needs all his players to do well for the team. Solid A!
Jacob is singing Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word. Jimmy says he’ll do fine if he doesn’t over dramatize it. Who, Jacob? As IF. Do I even have to report what Stephen says anymore? JLo gives props for the arrangement and says you don’t often hear that last note, and Randy says go to the “Jacob Spot” every time. It’s hard for me to like something that I don’t like which makes as much sense as anything Stephen says. Yeah, he gets an A too.
Last and maybe least, Haley. She’s singing Benny and the Jets, the theme from The Kings Speech. Has she always been this growly or are the reports of her dating Casey true? I’m going to say this is her best performance to date. Mainly cause I can’t remember any of the others. JLo says it was amazing and a great way to end the show, Randy says it’s the best performance of the NIGHT, wow, and Stephen says she’s sings sexy. He really is like the mentally challenged brother in the room. I didn’t love it, but I liked it. A good B.
I think the two going home are Naima and Thia. So, don’t be shy. What do YOU think?