This is NOT going well.

Tania-the-Mad: I’m ready for the regular Lisa to come back. This India stuff is too much.

Me: What do you mean?

Tania-the-Mad: You’re like one of those crazy people at the airport!

* * * * *

M on the Mountain: I’ll be glad when you’re over this India stuff. You always do this.

Me: What?

M on the Mountain: Get all excited about stuff in the beginning. You were the same way about tennis and bridge. I’ll be glad when it’s over.

Me: I’ve been playing tennis for 16 years and bridge about 9.

M on the Mountain: Oh, Lord.

In a totally unrelated note – does anyone know how to turn OFF the comment section on a blog?

This is going well.

8 a.m.

Me: What do you want for breakfast?

MP: Want to share a plate of rice?

Me: Rice for breakfast???

MP: Well, you said in India they eat rice at most every meal.

Me: I think we’ll be okay with pancakes.

5:00 p.m.

Me: When you get married, I think we’re going to do like Rachel from the bible. Your husband is going to have to work 14 years for your hand.

MP: No way. I’m going to marry one of  the boys in India.

Me: You trust me to pick one out? Are you sure you’ll like him?

MP: Yes. You said they had a lot of God in their hearts.

8:30 p.m.

Me: Are you finished with your bath?

MP: Yes, and I folded my towel.

Me: Wow, that looks really good.

MP: If I’m going to India, I need to be able to pack my own things.

At this rate she’ll be speaking Tamil by July.

Skin Deep

On my back porch, early morning:

JD: You look beautiful this morning.

Me: I’m SURE I do.

JD: No really, I wish I had my camera.

Me: So, go get it. I want to see just how lovely I look.

JD: Seriously?  Ok, wait here.

(Goes to get camera. Shoots several pictures.)

Me: OK, let me see them.

JD: You mean now? But they haven’t been processed.

Me:  “PROCESSED”? You mean like Photoshop? I thought you said I looked BEAUTIFUL.

JD: Well, you know. I look at the whole picture.

And now back to –

INDIA! Did you think I’d forgotten? Never. In fact, I don’t think of India as that place I WENT a few weeks ago, but rather as that place I’m going BACK to in 11 months.

India, I know you’ve not OFFICIALLY invited me back, but I’m coming. And I’m bringing two more people with me. If you didn’t want me to return, you shouldn’t have seduced me with your all-you-can-eat rice buffets and 4 hours of electricity each day.

I’ve got a year to get Team Tyre ready. JD is easy. I had him at all-you-can-eat. The MoonPie is a little tougher. We’ve already made great strides in her behavior. We’ve adopted a Rupees Reward system and she is loving it. My biggest concern though has been her eating habits. This is a child who lives on chicken nuggets, bacon and ribs. Anytime I ask her to try something new, the conversation goes something like this.

Me: Try it, you’ll like it.

MP: No thanks.

Me: Seriously. It’s mashed potatoes. It’s like smashed french fries. You LOVE french fries.

MP: No thanks.

Me: Try it or no dessert!

MP: Fine. Takes a bite the size of a pea, mimics vomiting, runs to the trash can and spits it out. That was HORRIBLE.

So I haven’t been super excited about introducing her to rice.

Behold –

She’s TRYING it!

She likes it She’s eating it.

If that’s not confirmation from God, I don’t know what IS!

Still, I think I’ll wait before introducing her to sambhar. No need to use all of God’s miracles at once.

While the cat’s away…

the grandparents will  totally take over and convince your child that she’d be much better off hanging out with THEM than going home and doing schoolwork with her boring parents. They do this through trickery and magic.

Oh sure, hang out with your cousin. They let me do that, too. At first!

They bought you a FOUR-WHEELER? Yeah, well. I had a motorcycle when I was your age. Trust me, it looks fun NOW. Just wait until it breaks down on you and you have to walk off the mountain pushing it for two miles.

HEY! That’s not fair. Whatever. Take my advice. They look harmless and sweet, but just wait until their true colors start to show. Then it’s all rules and curfews, and being grounded. The fun will officially be over soon. It will be “make your bed,” and “no more sugar, it’s bad for you” before you know it!   

Just get in the car and be quiet.

Peace in a Cup

Every morning in INDIA started the same way – with Chai and prayer.  I found out that one’s day goes smoother when you start it at peace. And also that I am not as lactose intolerant as I had believed.

I’ve made several attempts at Chai since I’ve been home and am pretty close to the yummy brew I experienced in INDIA. Here’s the recipe if you’re feeling up to it –

2 cups water

1 cup milk

1/4 tsp ginger

2 tsp black tea

2.5 tbsp sugar

1/2 tsp cardamom

Bring water, milk and ginger to a boil then remove from heat. Add sugar, tea and cardamom. Let sit for 3 – 6 minutes, then using a strainer, pour into a teapot.

Drink slowly, savoring the spices. Pretend you’re cool and are hanging in INDIA. Feel superior. Realize that’s not a Kingdom value and pray for forgiveness. Receive the grace. Ahhh, PEACE. Works every time.

Holy Sunday

Last week I was in India hearing from God, this week I went to hear Beth Moore teach God’s word. What’s next week going to bring – dinner with John Piper?

Beth spoke about Insecurity – the topic of her new book.

Here’s a review of the book:

Publishers Weekly

Prolific Bible teacher and women’s ministry leader Moore (Get Out of That Pit) moves away from her characteristic dead-on expositions of scriptural principles in her newest; the topic is insecurity, and the content, she admits, is close to an autobiography. Moore, always transparent with her own personal struggles, is refreshingly so throughout this text. Readers will be chortling in laughter one moment and sucking air the next as Moore exposes the many faces of female insecurity. The author names and claims each one, then defuses every bit of power these nonsensical inner voices possess by countering their lies with God’s truth. Women, no matter what their age, battle against advertising’s siren call for unattainable physical perfection; the habit of making a man’s love the ultimate validation; and the worldly definition of success as money, power, and status. Moore uses personal essays, women’s true confessions, expressive prayers, and lots of commonsense suggestions to jar women out of their insecure rut. Readers will delve into this work and find themselves comfortably uncomfortable, and this is a very good thing. (Feb.)

It was great. Over 300,000 women gathered to watch it on a simulcast. Imagine what would happen if 300,000 women decided to live life as if they believed they WERE who God said they WERE?  Imagine if YOU did. Wow.

Food for thought.

Holy Pilgrimage

I was called to India for holy purposes. I spent a great deal of my time praying, getting to know the locals, and basically bringing joy to everyone I met. It was why He called me there. I sought a deeper, more meaningful relationship with the Creator.

I’m sure that’s why the rest of the team went too.


While away, to that super cool country where only super cool people go, God revealed many things to me. For instance, every morning the team would meet in the Prayer Garden. For prayer.

Kim Auntie would pray like this:

“Lord, your word says in John 9, that you healed the blind man saying, Go and wash in the Pool of Siloam. And the man went forth, telling others of the man who had healed him. We pray that you would help give us eyes to see, too.”

I would pray like this:

“Lord, you know how in the movie Overboard, the Goldie Hawn character gets her memory back and suddenly she can see how Kurt Russell had made her a wife and mother and she’s all like,  ‘why did you do that, you’re that sweaty carpenter that hates me’, and she’s confused but then they get together.  Could you open our eyes to see, too?”

The contrast is striking. Yeah, I can SEE now. Before going to India, I had no idea Kim was such a show-off.