I haven’t been posting about coupons lately, because we really haven’t been using them as much. I’ve noticed that the same things tend to go on sale, and we still have tons left. Cereal? 8 boxes. Ice-cream? A freezer full. Mustard? You don’t want to know. As a family, we seem to have a FAIR amount of restraint. Well, most of us.

These two? They not only eat all of their food, they routinely break into the bathroom and eat me out of Tums and Hall’s. Luckily, the Coupon Cartel gave me a lead on a great dog food deal.

I got everything you see here, 9  medium size bags of dog food, 4 small pouches, and about 15 small cans, for the amazingly low price of FREE! That’s right – completely and totally free. It was easy – I just matched a coupon in the paper, with an online coupon from Target. No fuss and the dog’s LOVE it.

The fact that I had to drive to 4 Target’s, from Acworth to Alpharetta, in the rain, and over 2 days is completely beside the point.

At first, the band is just happy to play. They’re happy to have a gig, play some tunes, etc.

Then the lead singer starts talking “solo album”, the drummer is late for concerts, and the guitarist marries someone the fans hate.

Before you know it, they’ve split up citing “creative differences”, and are on VH1’s, Where are They Now show.

Last year’s rock-n-roll band is out, replaced by a hot, new, boy band. It’s a vicious cycle, but the boy band has an advantage. They can stay up way later.

After a lovely meeting with my writer’s group where they told me – I’m fabulous, my dialogue is wonderful, my story is like “perky breasts”, it just bounces along happily, and that their children are seriously enjoying reading it, I get to my car and find this on the Blackberry:

Dear Author:

Thank you so much for sending the Nelson Literary Agency your query. We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter. Rest assured that we do read every query letter carefully and, unfortunately, this project is not right for us.  Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one “yes” to find the right match.

Good luck with all your publishing endeavors.

Sincerely,

Kristin Nelson
Sara Megibow
Nelson Literary Agency

Maybe I should START the query with the perky breast comment. Couldn’t hurt. On second thought, I’d probably just get sued for fraud. Never mind.

The ladies showed up today, armed with snacks and presents for Rachel, and ready to YARD SALE!  They brought fruit, salad, cookies, drinks, chips, and various other food items. And I’ve already been told that next visit, they’ll also bring vinegar and coffee. Obviously they’re not fans of free butter and pop-tarts.

This is mom hearing the news that there’s an Estate Sale just around the corner.

These are the Aunt’s, pillaging through some poor woman’s stuff. 1.25 for THAT? She must be crazy.

It’s heaven.

I got my THIRD REJECTION today.

Dear Lisa,

Thank you for your query. Dan Lazar asked me to reply after he evaluated your submission.

We’re afraid your project does not seem right for our list, but thank you for thinking of Dan, and best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,
Stephen Barr
Assistant to Dan Lazar

Yeah, the ASSISTANT. So to recap my journey with literary agents:

Agent 1 says she likes my chapter and I should sent out queries.

Agent 2 says she was considering it for a time, but opted to pass.

Agent 3 says she has to feel strongly about a project, and she so does NOT.

Agent 4 has ASSISTANT give me the kiss off.

I fully expect Agent 5 to show up with a tire iron and take out my kneecaps.

Here I sit on my BIRTHDAY, old and rejected. I can’t think of a THING that would make me feel better. Except for presents. Lots and lots of presents.

I’ll be home all day.