She’ll Be Coming Down the Mountain

I expect my mother any second. Moon and I drove to Tennessee on Friday to visit with her, hang out, and drop off my dogs for the week. Okay, mostly that last one. Dogs? That’s right. Freeda has been trying out a new dog named FINLEY for a couple of weeks. Freeda likes him. I like him. Guess what two sour-pusses in the house don’t??

My mom and dad aren’t looking for another dog, but if one suddenly turned up on the mountain, what are they going to do, NOT keep him? You obviously don’t know my parents.



Besides, look at this cutey-patooty.

The only issue with this dog AT ALL is that his bark is slightly high-pitched. Imagine a squeaky wheel going around and around about a hundred times and played through a megaphone one inch from your ear. That’s not loud enough. But besides that, he’s perfect!

Freeda is much quieter. Her only issue is that when she was a puppy, she used to take off for long stretches. We started giving her treats every time she came in the door so that she’d figure out that coming home was a good thing. Now she tends to go out and in a lot. Imagine a revolving door going around and around about a hundred times except that you have to get up and hand the dog a treat every time she comes into view. That’s not aggravating enough. But besides that, she’s perfect!

Good thing my mom is known for being long-suffering and patient.

Hey, she never kicked Tania-the-Mad down the mountain. If she can put up with her, what’s a yapping, aggravating dog or two?


It’s Come to This

This is what I’m eating for four days:

1/2 cup of coconut milk

1/2 cup mango

1/4 cup white kidney beans

1 tablespoon honey

2 tablespoons chia seeds

1 tsp vanilla

Blended together to make a pudding OR blended together with ice and water to make a smoothie.

If I get crazy, I’ll substitute the mango for 3 dates, add 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder and make it chocolate!

Why? Because it’s supposed to make me lose 8 pounds over 4 days. Why else???

I’m going to go out on a limb and predict a Moron Test Kitchen Grade of F.




Spring Forward Into Bed

Are you guys still here? I’d completely forgotten that I even had a blog. To be honest, I’ve been kinda nutso. I blame the time change. For the past two nights I’ve fallen asleep at NINE. This is putting a serious dent into my TV binge-watching time. (Have you seen the new Netflix show, The Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt? Hilarious!)

But back to me. So this weekend I went to a BOARD meeting which is where I helped make serious long-term decisions about a local ministry. Yes. I. Did. You need a lot of skill to be involved at this high level like, being holy and nodding at the appropriate times.  Not everyone can pull it off.

Monday was a work day and I’m not sure what happened but I was in the WORST mood. Let’s retrace my steps. 1) Took Moon to horseback riding at 8 a.m., 2) Went to gym and rode a bike and lifted weights. 3) Worked 4) Went BACK to gym and did two miles on the elliptical. OH, I see now. EVERYTHING I hate (getting up early, not MOON) in one day.

Tuesday started off as bad because I made the mistake of weighing. I don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, sure I worked out TWICE in one day and had, gluten-free cereal and rice milk for breakfast, 3 boiled eggs for lunch and a salad with salmon, but it’s not like I was DIETING or anything. Of course I can’t lose weight like that! Who eats THREE boiled eggs? Stupid, *&$^%* pig!

Whew. Perhaps the mood still lingers a bit.

The best part of today was that I received some essential oils from my sister. The LAVENDER is supposed to relieve stress. It totally worked. JD was having a bad day of his own and so I chased him around and put lavender on his ears. Laughing at other people really helps lighten the mood, amiright Kittens?





Good vs. Wicked

This week saw the start of a new bible study at my friend, Mantamy’s house. We’ve only had one meeting but I’ve already learned that Thessalonians refers to a place, Thessalonia, Silvanus is also Silas, and Ikea sells coconut covered chocolate balls that are to DIE for. I’m hoping the next eight weeks brings me a greater understanding of Paul’s letter. And also more of the desserts, cause seriously, they are YUMMY.

Mantamy, as I’m sure you remember, is the friend who’s taken me from India, to Paris, to the shores of Cape San Blas. I’m pretty sure I’m listed as a dependent on her tax return.  In fact, there’s a whole host of people are might be listing me on their 1040s. “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” Name that Movie/Play!

In keeping with my having the best friends EVAH, my friend and bridge partner Positive Patty gave the Tyres’ tickets to WICKED. It was fabulous! We learned that the Wicked Witch was framed, and that deep down inside, she was actually very good. That gives great hope to us that are related to Tania-the-Mad.

Moral of the story, my friends ROCK. You should look into getting some. (Just not mine – they’re taken! Why do you think I never use their actual names?)



You’ve probably seen the photos of our trip to Nashville by now. I only uploaded one every ten minutes while we were in Nashville. I can’t help it. It’s my FAVORITE town. We’ve done some traveling together recently, and as much as we loved Charleston and Chicago – Nashville was by far my favorite. Which is amazing considering that during the first 20 minutes, I almost left!

Moon and I drove to Nashville via my mother’s house so that we could drop off the dog. By the time we got to the big city, JD had already booked our room. We had a miscommunication regarding parking, and my miscommunication I mean I was yelling and JD was yelling, and he had to come down and jump in the truck to tell me where to go. But it gets better! Then he instructed me to park in a tiny spot next to his rental, never mind that I was in a LAND CRUISER, which is why he was yelling “Just don’t wreck my car” when I backed into something. Oh, RELAX, it was just a transformer. So of course JD had to jump into the drivers side and park us. This is when Moon looked at us and calmly said, “Well, this is a disaster.”

Hey, it could only get better, amiright Kittens? And it DID. We had dinner at The Southern which was incredible. Seriously, if we could send their pimento-cheese grits to the Middle East, peace would reign!

Because JD was working, Moon and I laid around in the hotel room, used the wi-fi and stayed warm. I do have to work, you know! Then my cousin, Gingerbread came and took us to dinner at Chuy’s.. The food was great but the ride was most entertaining. Let’s just say that Moon learned a whole lot of new words. I LOVE my cousin, another reason that Nashville rocks.

Next, Moon found out her favorite duo, Maddie and Tae, were playing at the Ryman so I got on Craig’s List and found tickets. Two tickets. So she and JD went to the concert while I stayed in and caught up on Downton Abbey. Did I mention it was 28 degrees? I’m not crazy.

The next day we went to the Country Music Hall of Fame and Hatch Show Print – highly recommend both. THEN we hit the Bluebird Cafe where we listened to amazing singer/songwriters. It was so good I wanted to CRY. It was a beautiful, snowy night of great music. In short, NOT a disaster.

The moral of the story is that moms make everything better and if men wouldn’t yell, we couldn’t wreck. The End.




Ice Cold

Where is that global warming I’ve been hearing about? It is so cold here it is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. Okay, bad example, since I NEVER want to get out of bed in the morning, but it’s been worse lately. The only good thing about it being so cold is that I can finally wear the 1970′s suede and fur coat I bought at my mom’s vintage fashion show. I walked around all day like a 70′s pimp. The coat is seriously warm and seriously heavy. I took it off at work to hang it on a coat rack and it BROKE the rack. Bummer. But if you’re going to make me come into an office, this is the type of thing that’s going to happen, amiright Kittens?

Even without the cold, this has been a trying week. Counting Thursday, I’ve been to work four days in a row. I mean, actually getting out of my bed and into my car and driving, work. I know what you’re thinking – are they going to buy me a company car? I’m pretty sure that’s a law, so yeah.

I’m going into the office because a friend/coworker is visiting and we need to talk about google analytics, monitor our social media, check on our tracking numbers, and eat. But mainly that last one. Tonight I tried pork with pimento-cheese grits and I have to say it was totally worth the drive into work. I wonder if they deliver. Those grits would be perfect for breakfast in bed. Surely they don’t expect me to do this again for another year or so.






I was going to post yesterday, but then I figured it would snow and everyone’s power would go out and they wouldn’t get to read it so why bother. “Why bother” figures in big in my life.

JD was out of town all last week which you probably know if your friends with him on Facebook. Moon and I took advantage of having the run of the house by sleeping in, eating out, and wearing all of JD’s clothes. Moon gets the Star Wars t-shirts, I get the sweatpants. Which is good, because I learned recently that Husband Sweatpants are a good thing. Actually, I learned that Boyfriend Sweats from Victoria Secrets are a good thing, but Husband Sweats are cheaper and already in my closet.

I learned about this good thing at a church function. The ladies got together and shared something they really liked so that the rest of us could go out and buy it and thus stimulate the economy. West Cobb store owners should be rolling in the dough about now.

So far I’ve bought Apple Cider Vinegar (with the Mother), lengths of cute elastic so Moon can make her own hair ties, and Bio Coffee.



It’s the main ingredient, the Wheatgrass!! Vegetables in general can effectively neutralize acids in the body because they are rich in bicarbonates and other alkaline minerals like calcium, magnesium, manganese and iron. Among all vegetables, Wheatgrass is hailed as the “King of Alkaline Foods.”

You can read more about it here.

It tastes like weak coffee crossed with weak hot chocolate, already sweetened with Stevia and containing non-dairy creamer. It’s actually delicious. It’s so good, I drank TWO mugs of it today. Which is awesome since that’s like drinking 8 classes of greens. Of course it wasn’t until I’d finished my second cup that someone mentioned greens are FIBER and what Bio Coffee was trying to do. I should have known nothing with wheatgrass was going to end well for me.

At least I’m still wearing my Husband Sweatpants!

I Blame the Rain

My plan for the day was going to be this – get up at 7 a.m., get Moon ready and to horseback riding by 8:30, work, pick Moon up at noon, work, work, write, and work.

Instead it went like this – sleep until 9 a.m., work while sitting in bed until 1 p.m., shower, work while sitting in a chair, dinner.

Moon’s day was even better – sleep until 1 p.m.

Normally I’d feel bad for letter her sleep so long, but the girl was up until the wee hours of the morning reading. I asked her today how many minutes a day she’d say she reads. Her answer: 16 hours. If we did more math homework I could probably tell you how many minutes that it, but alas, let’s just go with her answer.

I don’t know who the Riley’s were, but the life of the Tyres ain’t so bad.

Run Ragged

I’m hurt. I know I’ve reached the age where I can be injured by sleeping on an over-stuffed pillow, but this time I actually DID something. I was injured while running, just a mile, but it was outside and everything. Now, in the brief moments that I get off the couch, I walk with a VERY pronounced limp. If my mother loved me, she’d bring me a snazzy cane.

Because of my injury, I’ve spend a great deal of time watching TV. Yesterday I watched Love, Lust or Run which is where they find crazy looking people on the street and give them a makeover.  Like they could come up with something better for me to wear than bridge pajamas. I also watched Little Nicky, Karate Dog and The Great Gatsby.




My taste is eclectic.

All of the rest is good for me. Last week was busy and I get kind of grumpy without down time. This week is probably going to be a tough one. JD is working so I’m in charge of getting Moon to her appointments. She has horseback riding, an orthodontist check-up, volleyball and guitar lessons all in the next two days. On top of all of that, I have to feed her. How am I supposed to find time for the chiropractor? For work? For other Adam Sandler movies?

If my mother loved me, she’d come help.


Be Impressed

I ran 3 miles yesterday. THREE miles, in a row, without stopping. I haven’t checked Ripley’s, but I’ve got to think that’s some kind of record. Of course I did it on a treadmill at zero incline, but my legs were moving and everything. I was going to go ahead and do the .2 so I could say I did a 5K, but then I would have been tempted to go to 3.5, and before you know it I’d be running four miles and who knows where this craziness might end.

One thing that helped was that I downloaded a cool app called Rock My Run. It lets you pick your favorite types of music, then puts them into a DJ mix of 30, 45, 60 minute lengths. You can even manually adjust the tempo so that it is the same speed as your stride. I’m not only a runner, I’m a high-tech runner.

After my run, I came home and wrote two chapters of my work-in-progress that I’m pretty sure stinks, then did some ACTUAL work for my actual job. Later, I cleaned house because Moon’s guitar teacher was coming, then I remembered he’d cancelled this week. I will not attempt to convey the depth of my despair when I figured that out. (Name that movie!)

Moon enjoyed her volleyball class. I’m not sure how well she is doing since we’re not allowed to stay and watch, but she’s into it, and it’s not Star Wars, so win!

Tomorrow I’m having my stitches removed, (thanks for all the cards and letters) and will be HORN FREE, which sounds much cooler when you sing it to the tune of BORN FREE, fyi. With my only blemish removed, I’ve got to say I’m pretty close to perfect. But you knew that already, amiright Kittens?