Ice Cold

Where is that global warming I’ve been hearing about? It is so cold here it is all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. Okay, bad example, since I NEVER want to get out of bed in the morning, but it’s been worse lately. The only good thing about it being so cold is that I can finally wear the 1970′s suede and fur coat I bought at my mom’s vintage fashion show. I walked around all day like a 70′s pimp. The coat is seriously warm and seriously heavy. I took it off at work to hang it on a coat rack and it BROKE the rack. Bummer. But if you’re going to make me come into an office, this is the type of thing that’s going to happen, amiright Kittens?

Even without the cold, this has been a trying week. Counting Thursday, I’ve been to work four days in a row. I mean, actually getting out of my bed and into my car and driving, work. I know what you’re thinking – are they going to buy me a company car? I’m pretty sure that’s a law, so yeah.

I’m going into the office because a friend/coworker is visiting and we need to talk about google analytics, monitor our social media, check on our tracking numbers, and eat. But mainly that last one. Tonight I tried pork with pimento-cheese grits and I have to say it was totally worth the drive into work. I wonder if they deliver. Those grits would be perfect for breakfast in bed. Surely they don’t expect me to do this again for another year or so.






I was going to post yesterday, but then I figured it would snow and everyone’s power would go out and they wouldn’t get to read it so why bother. “Why bother” figures in big in my life.

JD was out of town all last week which you probably know if your friends with him on Facebook. Moon and I took advantage of having the run of the house by sleeping in, eating out, and wearing all of JD’s clothes. Moon gets the Star Wars t-shirts, I get the sweatpants. Which is good, because I learned recently that Husband Sweatpants are a good thing. Actually, I learned that Boyfriend Sweats from Victoria Secrets are a good thing, but Husband Sweats are cheaper and already in my closet.

I learned about this good thing at a church function. The ladies got together and shared something they really liked so that the rest of us could go out and buy it and thus stimulate the economy. West Cobb store owners should be rolling in the dough about now.

So far I’ve bought Apple Cider Vinegar (with the Mother), lengths of cute elastic so Moon can make her own hair ties, and Bio Coffee.



It’s the main ingredient, the Wheatgrass!! Vegetables in general can effectively neutralize acids in the body because they are rich in bicarbonates and other alkaline minerals like calcium, magnesium, manganese and iron. Among all vegetables, Wheatgrass is hailed as the “King of Alkaline Foods.”

You can read more about it here.

It tastes like weak coffee crossed with weak hot chocolate, already sweetened with Stevia and containing non-dairy creamer. It’s actually delicious. It’s so good, I drank TWO mugs of it today. Which is awesome since that’s like drinking 8 classes of greens. Of course it wasn’t until I’d finished my second cup that someone mentioned greens are FIBER and what Bio Coffee was trying to do. I should have known nothing with wheatgrass was going to end well for me.

At least I’m still wearing my Husband Sweatpants!

I Blame the Rain

My plan for the day was going to be this – get up at 7 a.m., get Moon ready and to horseback riding by 8:30, work, pick Moon up at noon, work, work, write, and work.

Instead it went like this – sleep until 9 a.m., work while sitting in bed until 1 p.m., shower, work while sitting in a chair, dinner.

Moon’s day was even better – sleep until 1 p.m.

Normally I’d feel bad for letter her sleep so long, but the girl was up until the wee hours of the morning reading. I asked her today how many minutes a day she’d say she reads. Her answer: 16 hours. If we did more math homework I could probably tell you how many minutes that it, but alas, let’s just go with her answer.

I don’t know who the Riley’s were, but the life of the Tyres ain’t so bad.

Run Ragged

I’m hurt. I know I’ve reached the age where I can be injured by sleeping on an over-stuffed pillow, but this time I actually DID something. I was injured while running, just a mile, but it was outside and everything. Now, in the brief moments that I get off the couch, I walk with a VERY pronounced limp. If my mother loved me, she’d bring me a snazzy cane.

Because of my injury, I’ve spend a great deal of time watching TV. Yesterday I watched Love, Lust or Run which is where they find crazy looking people on the street and give them a makeover. ┬áLike they could come up with something better for me to wear than bridge pajamas. I also watched Little Nicky, Karate Dog and The Great Gatsby.




My taste is eclectic.

All of the rest is good for me. Last week was busy and I get kind of grumpy without down time. This week is probably going to be a tough one. JD is working so I’m in charge of getting Moon to her appointments. She has horseback riding, an orthodontist check-up, volleyball and guitar lessons all in the next two days. On top of all of that, I have to feed her. How am I supposed to find time for the chiropractor? For work? For other Adam Sandler movies?

If my mother loved me, she’d come help.


Be Impressed

I ran 3 miles yesterday. THREE miles, in a row, without stopping. I haven’t checked Ripley’s, but I’ve got to think that’s some kind of record. Of course I did it on a treadmill at zero incline, but my legs were moving and everything. I was going to go ahead and do the .2 so I could say I did a 5K, but then I would have been tempted to go to 3.5, and before you know it I’d be running four miles and who knows where this craziness might end.

One thing that helped was that I downloaded a cool app called Rock My Run. It lets you pick your favorite types of music, then puts them into a DJ mix of 30, 45, 60 minute lengths. You can even manually adjust the tempo so that it is the same speed as your stride. I’m not only a runner, I’m a high-tech runner.

After my run, I came home and wrote two chapters of my work-in-progress that I’m pretty sure stinks, then did some ACTUAL work for my actual job. Later, I cleaned house because Moon’s guitar teacher was coming, then I remembered he’d cancelled this week. I will not attempt to convey the depth of my despair when I figured that out. (Name that movie!)

Moon enjoyed her volleyball class. I’m not sure how well she is doing since we’re not allowed to stay and watch, but she’s into it, and it’s not Star Wars, so win!

Tomorrow I’m having my stitches removed, (thanks for all the cards and letters) and will be HORN FREE, which sounds much cooler when you sing it to the tune of BORN FREE, fyi. With my only blemish removed, I’ve got to say I’m pretty close to perfect. But you knew that already, amiright Kittens?


Horn Removal

For some reason, I thought cutting open my head and removing a cyst would be pain-free. Once I was laying back in the chair with 2 doctors and 2 attendants over me and the sound of a cauterizing tool filled the air, I began to rethink things. The numbing gel wore off about 15 minutes after I left, and I came home and collapsed onto the couch.( Sidebar: I am REALLY glad that I’ve never had to go through childbirth.)

JD ran to the store to get me some Tylenol because they said I shouldn’t take Ibuprofen and you should listen to doctors when they tell you things. They also told me not to drink any alcohol. There are exceptions to every rule, amiright Kittens? So now I’m resting lightly with a glass of Sweet Tea vodka in my hand and an icepack on my head. I. Am. Sexy.

My mother was concerned that I drove myself home from the surgery, but all was well. JD’s working tomorrow, but I have a list of things NOT to do, like lean my head over, wash my hair, exercise, or clean my house. It’s like I’ve been training for this my whole life.

Activator Schmacivator

Have I mentioned that my shoulder hurts? Well, for the past 6 months or so, I’ve not been able to lift weights with my left arm or do pushups, and getting out of my jog bra is a real struggle. So basically it hasn’t hindered me at all except that I can’t exercise, which is to say NOT AT ALL.

Still, I felt like I should go to the chiropractor and see what they could do. Kit had great success when her shoulder hurt, so I went last week for my first treatment. Have you ever visited a chiropractor? It’s changed a lot in the last few years. Now they use something called an ACTIVATOR which is like a mini pogo-stock that they pop you with. It’s supposed to knock your bones back into place.


Sounds like a plan to me! I’ve been twice and I can’t really say yet if it’s working, but they do have a fun table that you stand against, then it lowers horizontally while you lean against it, so that’s something.

I’ve been going to the doctor/dentist a lot lately. Tomorrow I’m going to the dentist for a cleaning, but I also get to tell them that the crown I received two weeks ago is already CRACKED. Since I’ve been dieting for 12 years and haven’t had any solid food, I blame them. After that visit, I get to go to the dermatologist and have a bump removed from my head. It’s noting serious, but since I’m dangerously close to looking like a unicorn, I thought I’d have it taken care of. What really stinks is that if I’m going to drop $250 bucks at the dermatologist, I want it to be for something important like Botox, amiright Kittens?

I don’t have time tomorrow, but I’d also like to fit in a trip to the nail salon this week. It’s sad that I’ve finally reached the place where I have the money to get work done, and I’m too dang old for it to make a difference!


Weekend for the Ages

My mother came to visit this weekend and brought Aunt Faye which is why we found ourselves driving around in the rain, pawing through a stranger’s rhinestone bikinis. I’m a bit slow but when I saw the girlie photos, the bikini, a nurse uniform, a leather bustier, and a “utility” table with O-rings all over it, even I figured out I was looking at 50 Shades of A Weirdo. It went downhill from there. You know it’s bad when the biggest item my mom bought during the weekend was an ironing board. The shopping was so bad we actually spent time talking and I found out how old my mom is. I guess the fact that her MOM is 101 should have given me an idea, but for some reason I had deleted about 5 years from her age. Which is totally unlike Tania-the-Mad who has ADDED several years. It’s true.

The good news is that they didn’t come for the shopping, but for the birthday celebration. Moonpie is officially a TEENAGER. I can only hope the next few years are like her birthday – drama free. I know all moms (except possibly ONE) say this, but she really is the best kid EVER. She is polite, friendly, kind, smart, funny, creative, laid back, obedient, and beautiful. Oh my gosh, she’s just like ME!

We told her we’d do anything she wanted for her birthday, but she just wanted to keep it low key. I have to say she doesn’t complain or give me attitude very often at all. Of course, as she said this weekend, her whole life is like an elective – horseback riding, bridge, volleyball, and guitar lessons – so what’s there to complain about?

According to my mom and Aunt Faye, a lot, but that’s a story for another time.





It’s all Electives, All the Time

My daughter is the luckiest girl in the world. Seriously, why I’m sitting on the couch and she’s not massaging my feet is beyond me. When I was 12, almost 13 years old, the highlight of my day was getting home and finding a potpie in the oven. My schedule went like this – 7 a.m. get up, 7:30 wait in the cold for the bus, 8:30 till 3:00 schoolwork, followed by a potpie, homework, dinner, then maybe, if I was lucky my parents would let me stay up and watch Dallas with them before bed. For fun I ran outside on the gravel in my bare feet and hoped a cousin would drop by.

Yesterday, Rachel got up, went to the horse barn, caught ponies, took a lesson, came home and went to a skating party. Today, she slept in, went to volleyball, had a guitar lesson, then spent a couple of hours practicing her math skills through a little exercise I like to call “bridge”.

It’s a good thing we’ve gotten all of the fun out of the way, because later this week we’re going to have a tough class in economics and a Masters level course in gerontology. My mom and Aunt Fay are coming to yard sale. That counts, right?